New Years’ Resolutions

Finding one that really works.

Whatever age we are and in many different cultures the New Year holds out so much hope. It seems an opportunity to start anew, to put the habits of last year behind us, to embrace a new start. Yet all the evidence is that a New Year’s Resolution will not make it through to February.

That is why I picked up on a recent article in The Conversation, that they kindly allow to be republished.

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Why you should give the gift of mindfulness this New Year

By Jeremy David Engels

Professor of Communication Arts and Sciences, Penn State. Published: January 3, 2023.

The late Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh leading a meditation walk. Steve Cray/South China Morning Post via Getty Images

The start of another year can feel magical to many of us. Even though the days remain short and dark, the flip of the calendar can make it seem new beginnings with new resolutions are possible. 

Mindfulness scholars and teachers like me call resolutions “habit breakers,” as they can overcome patterns that no longer serve individuals. However, research suggests that many resolutions fail by the end of January. 

But a key to ensuring that resolutions stick is to choose one that will make a meaningful difference in your life. Seeing a real, tangible benefit can provide inspiration to keep going when all of life is telling us to let things go back to how they were before. 

Living more mindfully is a common New Year’s resolution. This year, try gifting it to others.

The meaning of mindfulness

Mindfulness has been shown to have a number of meaningful health benefits – it can help reduce anxiety and promote healing in those suffering from long-term chronic illness. 

The practice is based on an insight first described by ancient Buddhist texts that human beings have the capacity to observe experience without being caught up in it. This means, simply and wonderfully, that it is possible to observe ourselves having a craving, or a happy thought, or even a scary emotion, without reacting in the moment in a way that amplifies the feeling or sends the mind spiraling off into thinking about old memories or anticipating events.

This practice can help calm the mind and the body as we learn not to react to experience with likes and dislikes or judgments of good and bad. It does not make us cold or apathetic but more fully present

Mindfulness in a distracted world

One of the challenges of practicing mindfulness in our contemporary world is that there has been a profound transformation in human attention. The artist Jenny Odell argues that in our “attention economy” human attention has been transformed into a commodity that big corporations buy and sell. This economy rests on a technological revolution of mobile phones and social media that makes it possible for corporations to reach us with content that can capture and monetize our focus, at every moment, every day, and no matter where we may be.

The constant need to be checking our phones keeps us from being fully present. Abdulhamid Hosbas/Anadolu Agency via Getty Images

The needy little devices most people carry in their pockets and wear on their wrists, incessantly beeping and buzzing and chirping, are a perpetual diversion from the present moment. The result is that it can feel as though our ability to focus, and be fully present, has been stolen

But mindfulness can help us resist the attention economy and savor the things that make life special, like being together with those we love. 

The gift of mindfulness

While most mindfulness research focuses on the individual benefits of the practice, scholars like me argue that we not only practice mindfulness for ourselves but that we can also practice it for others. It can help us build stronger, healthier relationships. 

The sad truth is that living in the attention economy, most of us have become bad listeners. However, just as it is possible to watch ourselves having an experience without reacting, it’s possible to watch another person have an experience without getting tied up in reactivity and judgment. It’s possible simply to be present. 

The gift of mindfulness is a practice of listening with compassion to another person describe their experiences. To give this gift means putting away your phone, turning off social media, and setting aside other common distractions. It means practicing being fully present in another person’s presence and listening to them with complete attention, without reacting with judgment, while resisting the urge to make the interaction about you. 

If we judge the value of gifts based on how much they cost, this gift may seem worthless. But in a distracted world, I argue, it is a precious one

It is not a gift that you will wrap, or put inside a card; it’s not one you will have to name as a gift or draw attention to. It’s something you can do right now.

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Professor David Engels is spot on. The number of people who are wedded to their cell phone, especially the younger ones of us, is frightening. Many years ago I was fortunate to have a counsellor who was into mindfulness and some of the good practices have stayed with me.

So, please, if you are thinking that your use of a cell phone is intrusive, even slightly, then let this New Year present a new you!

P.S.

Belinda sent in the following attached to one of her comments. It’s perfect! Thank you, Belinda!

And while we are on the subject of New Year’s Resolutions try this one. It is not a long video but it is extremely important; it concerns our diet and our health!

10 thoughts on “New Years’ Resolutions

  1. I’ve been complaining about cell phones taking away from person to person interaction. I even have this photo at my front door and even though the grammar is poor the message is clear. I have not thought about the word mindfulness in a long time and what it means but not having a cell phone on when I’m out and about it enables me to truly be present for the experience. Loneliness has become part of who I am and I attribute it to the beginning of Covid and the need to stay away from people. I still stay home most of the time but after reading your blog when I do go out I am going to attempt to be more present for others as well as myself. Thank you Paul.

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    1. Oh Belinda, how sweet of you to say what you have. I’m only sorry it was 6 hours before you got a reply from me! Luckily I am of the age where I only have a cell phone for emergencies and for contact with a few UK friends (I use Signal.) I will have to ponder on how best to spread the word that mindfulness is a vast improvement over being subject to constant distraction. Plus, I will post your photo as soon as I am at my desk. Fondest regards, Paul.

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  2. Paul, I wanted to post this on my reply to your blog and couldn’t figure
    out how to do it. I went ahead and posted my comment and if you can
    figure out how to add this attachment, I would love it. Thank you. Belinda

    Like

  3. Excellent Post as I drop in to read in this New Year dear Paul… So true ..

    I limit myself now even to Computer time… I would sooner craft, knit, or read and of course when weather permits be in the garden… Which is a bit water logged right now here in England Lol

    I do hope you and Jean have a wonderful New Year… Oh and I have no shortages of organically grown veggies once the season starts and plenty of veggies frozen to last us over winter ..
    Happy New Year! .. ❤ ✨

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    1. Sue, a Very Happy New Year in return from the two of us. I seem rather more involved with my Mac, partly because of my book writing and blogging but I try to keep it under control. Yes, I am hearing about the rain over there. We also have had 9 inches in December and, so far, 3 inches this month.

      We didn’t celebrate the New Year, Jean’s Parkinson’s put paid to that, but we still had a lovely time. And your veggies sound wonderful when they arrive. Thank you for speaking up; it’s always good to hear from good friends.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Aww sorry to hear about Jean over New Year… Give her my Love… and yes the weather is the current topic both sides of the Pond..
        You are most welcome… Take care both of you ❤

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      2. In the next five minutes I will leave here and pass on your love to Jean. I know that will bring on a smile to her face. You, and yours, all the best for 2023 and beyond.

        Like

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