They have been days of a great jumble of emotions.
But the over-riding emotion has been one of feeling very loved and cared for. Not only by Jeannie, of course, and by my son, Alex, and daughter, Maija, but also by so many of you from my Learning from Dogs ‘family’.
A dear friend, Richard, living in England was incredibly supportive. Richard and I go back nearly 40 years to when we first met. We were both selling Commodore computers for our respective companies back in the early 1980’s. (Richard used to be a typewriter salesman for Olivetti UK and I was an ex-IBM Office Products salesman.)
Anyway, Richard pointed me to this beautiful song by Beth Nielsen-Chapman How We Love.
It sums up perfectly what all your ‘Likes’ and responses to my post The End Of An Era meant to me.
Love you all! I will return to daily posts from this Saturday.
I will not forget your kindness when I needed it so much.
She died a short while ago, at 21:22 GMT/UTC on Monday, November 14th.
That is 9:22 pm British time on the same day as the moon’s closest distance to our Mother Planet since 1948.
Or to find some poetry in the timing of the end of my mother’s life, she died 10 hours to the minute after that closest moment of the moon’s passing, that was at 11:22 British time this morning.
This photograph of the moon was taken last night from here at home in Oregon at a few minutes after 10pm.
My mother was born Elizabeth Foreman and after the death of our father, Frederick Handover, in 1956, she subsequently married Richard Mills.
My sister, Elizabeth, and I were born in 1944 and 1949 respectively. My mother and Richard were parents to our half-sister Eleanor, who was born in 1959.
Our mother was an incredible woman and her death is truly the end of an era for the family.
For the rest of my years, I will look up at the full moon and remember my mother’s amazing life.
Dan, my Best Man, at the wedding of Jean and me, November 20th 2010. My mother is between Dan and me.
Dear people, you will understand why I will be taking a few days away from blogging.
What are the options for taking a vacation with your pet dog.
Regular visitors to this place will recall that exactly one month ago I published a guest post from Paige Johnson. It was called Divorcing One’s Vet and was well-received. I am delighted, therefore, to present the second guest post from Paige.
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Rover-Friendly Vacations: What are Your Options?
The love Westerners have for their pets is known across the globe. We dress them, take them everywhere, feed them special foods, and refer to them as our kids. When considering a vacation, it can be difficult to contemplate leaving your fur baby at home or, even worse, trapped in a boarding kennel. The stress of worrying about your pet easily can cut into the relaxation a vacation will offer. Fortunately, there are several options for the doting pet parent. Here are a few ways you can handle vacationing and being a good parent to your pets.
Take Them Along
Pet-friendly vacations may be a little more restrictive than vacationing without your furry family member. However, if you are a pet owner who cannot bear the thought of being separated from your pet while on vacation, it may be worth the extra effort to plan a trip to a pet-friendly city like Austin. Traveling within the U.S. is easiest and cheapest for pet parents, particularly if the destination is within driving distance. Although, if you want to travel abroad, it is possible to take your pets with you.
To travel internationally with a pet, you must thoroughly check the country’s guidelines for bringing domesticated animals across the borders. Typically, you will need recent proof of vaccinations along with a pet passport. While certifiably healthy animals can sometimes pass borders unimpeded, many countries will require a quarantine period of 24 hours to several months. It is important to plan well and far in advance for international pet travel. Keep in mind that this option is bound to be more expensive than leaving your pet behind while you vacation.
Find a Pet Boarder or Sitter
A freelance pet walker, sitter, or boarder is far more preferable than boarding your pet in a kennel. Dog sitters give you the option of leaving your pet in the comfort of your own home with personalized attention, or dog boarders give you the option of leaving your pet in their home and ensuring they receive 24-hour care.
Research a Quality Kennel
Basic kennels will sequester your pet in their own small space with little interaction from caretakers or other pets. On the other hand, a quality kennel will be well-staffed, friendly, and ensure that your pet spends more time playing with other dogs than alone in a kennel. While a sitter is preferable, a good kennel certainly is an option, especially if they are centered around social interaction and quality care. Online reviews can be a helpful way to research a suitable boarding facility. It’s important to note that good boarders often will charge a little more than a sitter.
When your child is a dog or a cat, vacationing can become a more difficult and stressful activity than you originally thought. The guilt of leaving a pet at home can impede your ability to enjoy your vacation, particularly if you have to leave him in a kennel. Fortunately, there are better options to put your mind at ease. Whether you decide to plan a pet-friendly vacation or get a freelance pet sitter, you can rest assured that a relaxing, guilt-free vacation is in your future.
There was an exchange of thoughts between me and Susan Leighton, who is the author of the blog Woman On the Ledge:
(In part:)
Susan: Dogs can be such a comfort when life becomes overwhelming.
Me: For nobody can escape those moments when life becomes overwhelming. A loving partner is precious beyond words at those times, but there’s still something comforting beyond that love when it comes to our dogs.
Susan: Very true, Paul. A dog has saved me many times!
Later on yesterday, when I was looking for something for today’s post, I came across this video:
Published on Jan 5, 2015
Hantu the White German Shepherd Plays Surrogate Mum to Poncho the Opossum at the Rare Species Fund, South Carolina, USA.
Poncho the opossum was found clinging to his mother’s back after she had been hit by an oncoming vehicle, a common hazard for nocturnal animals. Under veterinary supervision, Poncho was brought to the Rare Species Fund in South Carolina where he has nursed to health. Opossums are the only New World marsupials and, in the wild, spend the first several months of their lives clinging to their mother’s backs. Having had no puppies of her own, Hantu seems a more than willing foster mum and mode of transportation for Poncho. Robert Johnson of the Rare Species Fund says, “They are both playing important roles in each other’s lives. When Hantu goes for her daily walks through the woods, she won’t leave the house until Poncho is securely mounted on her back.” http://www.RareSpeciesFund.com http://www.MyrtleBeachSafari.com
Just thought that was a lovely reminder of the unconditional love offered by our dogs; for humans and for other creatures!
I have said it before and, undoubtedly, I will say it many more times. That is that the connections made in the world of blogging are special beyond imagination. So many good people that one will never get to know in the traditional sense of being around that person yet people that one comes to know, and know well, through the medium of blogging.
I was contacted by Grinia who offered to write a guest post for this place. In turn, to better know her, I went across to her blog, Mirror & Soul, and then read this: Real Stories, Real People: Forecast: Blu Skies. I wanted to republish that and Grinia very rapidly gave me permission.
Alexandra thought of adopting a dog to provide company to her mother and bring a happy distraction to her days. What Alexandra didn’t expected was that this dog would become an important member of their family and would help her dealing with the emotions of caring for her mom with dementia. Alexandra became an advocate for rescuing dogs and she is sharing her touching story with us. Thank you Alexandra!
Forecast: Blu skies
By Alexandra Goodwin
My husband and I had many discussions about adopting a dog because he had grown up with dogs in the UK and missed having his four legged friends around. I was open to the idea as I had never had any pets growing up and thought perhaps it might help my mother, who has dementia and lives with us.
We went to various rescue shelters in February 2014 to get an idea of what kind of dog to get and to warm my mother up to the idea of acquiring a dog. My husband had had mostly pointers and greyhounds and we both wanted a medium / large dog with whom to go hiking and enjoy the outdoors.
When we went to the various shelters we knew we couldn’t bring anyone home right away due to my husband traveling for business the following month. One of the shelters we visited was Greyhound Friends in Hopkinton, Mass. My husband had made few solo trips there previously in his spare time and met Louise Coleman, owner of Greyhound Friends. They both had the same passion and heart for these neglected beautiful dogs. Blu was one of the dogs in the shelter back in February 2014. Blu was waving his paw at us as if he were trying to communicate and begging us to take him home.
Fast forward couple months later to April 26, 2014, a brisk Saturday morning when we set out to rescue a dog to bring home. We made many stops within 25 mile radius that day to various shelters. When we went to Greyhound Friends, we inquired about Blu as he had impacted his paw on our hearts back in February. Blu was in foster care in Milford, MA, so they called the foster parents and we arranged to go visit their home to see Blu again. We saw that Blu was comfortable and calm in home setting and was living with another dog and cat.
Blu’s a Bluetick Coonhound from way of Ohio. He was found in a litter of five back in Ohio when a generous rescue group called ” Stop the Suffering” picked up Blu and his mates. Blu was transferred to Greyhound Friends in the winter of 2013.
What drew us to Blu, aside from him waving at us, was that he had a cherry eye. Dogs have three eyelids and it’s common for dogs under the age of two for one of the eyelids to protrude. Cherry eye is not serious but if untreated it causes dry eye which then could lead to other complications. Blu will probably be on eye drop medications all his life.
After our Saturday afternoon of surveying various rescue shelters, we decided to adopt the dog who might be left behind, the underdog. We figured Blu might be overlooked because of his cherry eye. Most folks want to adopt puppies and the storybook happy perfect little dog. Little do they realize the trauma and suffering most dogs in shelters have had in their lives before being scooped up in shelters. All dogs just need patience and love and if you win their heart over, they will do anything for you and give back tenfold.
Blu has made a huge impact on our lives. For me, being the prime caretaker of my mother, he has calmed me down enormously and is aware of encompassing emotions. My mother’s not so fond of dogs as she grew up in Greece where dogs lived outside and their purpose was hunting. Blu has brought so much love and happiness in our lives that now can’t imagine life without him! Blu is a blessing!!! Thank you to all the rescue shelters who save dogs and try to find them forever homes — what a difficult and most rewarding job you have! Thank you for not giving up on these beautiful dogs!
Greyhound Friends is located in Hopkinton, Massachusetts, please go visit their kennel and find your best friend like we did….
Here’s a very delightful guest post coming up. But first to my introduction.
Speke’s Monument, Kensington Gardens
Whatever one feels about London, the city of my birth (Acton; North-West London, to be more precise), there’s no denying that it has some glorious parks.
One of those wonderful parks is Kensington Gardens that is located not that far from the Royal Albert Hall. Or as Wikipedia puts it:
Kensington Gardens, once the private gardens of Kensington Palace, are one of the Royal Parks of London, lying immediately to the west of Hyde Park.
So keep that image in your mind as we turn to today’s guest post.
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A Victorian Dog Story
If you are ever in the UK, wander through Kensington Gardens (past the palace where Princess Diana resided) and go Northeast, behind Victoria Lodge; you will find a pet cemetery. Mentioned by Peter Pan author, J.M. Barrie, in his work The Little White Bird, over 200 dogs, cats and birds have been laid to rest here. All of its inhabitants were once beloved pets.
The cemetery was started by the lodge keeper around 1881; the first dog to be buried in Kensington was her “Cherry”, a Maltese terrier who died of old age. The second dog was “Prince”, once belonging to the Duke of Cambridge (no relation to the present Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton!). Struck by a carriage, this dog’s simple gravestone reads: “Poor Prince.” Though the cemetery is no longer active, contemporary guests can take pictures of the tiny tombstones and read such sentiments as “Maudie, An Old Friend”, “Darling Dolly My Sunbeam, My Consolation”; and “In Loving Memory of Our Faithful Little Friend Wobbles.”
Keeping dogs as pets gained popularity in the 19th century. As sanitation conditions started to be regulated, animals such as pigs, cows and sheep were banned from the streets. So dogs that were once kept outside were now invited by the fire. The dog changed from being a worker to being a member of the family. In 1837 there were about 140 dog nappers; they stole lap dogs from the wealthy and charged hefty ransoms for their return. A Temporary Home for Lost and Starving Dogs opened in 1860; ultimately this became The Battersea Dogs Home, where strays could be adopted. For more information on the Victorian cult of the dog, I would recommend At Home and Astray by Philip Howell. Meanwhile, if you are searching for a name for your new pet puppy, you might want to consider Dandie, Dash or Eos, pronounced ee-oohs–if they were good enough for Queen Victoria’s pooches, they may be good enough for yours!
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Let me close with the words of the author: Annabelle Troy
An American who loves UK culture, I alternate my time between New York City and London. I’m the author of four books available on Amazon: Jane Eyre Gets Real, A Cure for Cecily, The Grace of the Hunchback, and Hansel and Gretel Inside the House of Candy. Inspiration comes to me through literature, history and magic.
Here’s the cover of that first-named book.
I don’t know about Jane Eyre but Annabelle Troy comes over as real enough!
Normal service may not be possible for the next few weeks!
As many of you know last December I published my first book Learning from Dogs.
That book had been the result of me getting my head down in the Novembers of 2013 and 2014. Why November? Because that is the month of NaNoWriMo, or to use the long-form: National Novel Writing Month.
Having brought book number one the light of the day, it was only natural that my mind started to turn to a sequel. At first, I thought of another book about dogs; perhaps Learning About Dogs? But for a variety of reasons I just couldn’t get started and it all came to a head last Wednesday during one of our regular group cycle rides. As follows:
Jim Goodbrod, he who wrote the foreword to my first book, asked how book number two was coming along.
“Oh Jim,” I replied, “I have left it far too late to contact the many academics that I have come across, to seek permission to quote their works and to find out if they have more scientific information of potential interest.”
“I have this terrible feeling that I’m setting myself up to fail!”
Jim then opened a wonderful window for me; metaphorically speaking. But before describing what Jim went on to say I should explain to you, dear reader, the connection between Jim and Janet, his wife, and Jean and me. Jim and Janet live about half-a-mile from us in Merlin, Southern Oregon, and right from the moment when we moved into our home back in 2012 they have been very good friends indeed. That friendship built upon Jim and Janet sharing very many similar outlooks on life to Jeannie and me. Plus Jim is a professional veterinarian doctor at a vet’s practice in Grants Pass, our local town some 12 miles from home, but has frequently given us advice ‘out of hours’ when one of our pets at home has gone down with something beyond Jean’s extensive experience.
So the four of us have spent much time together socially and I am embarrassed to admit that quite a few of my stories from past years have been told by me.
Back to that conversation during that bike ride. “Paul, Janet and I were only saying the other day that we would really love to see your next book being something autobiographical. You have had so many interesting experiences in so many parts of the world that we truly believe that they would be of interest to many others.”
It felt slightly uncomfortable to hear that. Uncomfortable in the sense that immediately responding by saying what a good idea that was carried too much egotism, was too self-indulgent. But at the same time I knew that Jim and Janet would offer a genuine recommendation and that it would most certainly get me out of my present difficult situation. I thanked Jim profusely. Jim then went on the describe the style that he and Janet would enjoy: “Janet and I have long loved reading books where each chapter was a self-contained story. In other words, a book that one could pick up and dip into and still feel that it was a good read.”
When I returned home and spoke about this to Jeannie she immediately said that it was something that she had been urging me to consider. An hour later I was speaking on the phone to my sister Eleanor and she, too, encouraged me to go down this route.
So that’s how it has come about that book number two is going to be semi-autobiographical, and it already has a name: Four Dogs On My Bed.
Or as the byline reads: On Life; On Love; and On Dogs.
All of which is a rather wordy way of saying that from now until the end of November my first priority is going to be book writing. How that will impact my attention to this blog and all you wonderful readers is uncertain. But if you see a string of re-posts from earlier times, if I don’t provide the most fulsome introduction to a guest author that they deserve, if my replies to comments are not as quick as I normally try to be, then you will know the reason why.
This was a day when a massage would have been perfect treatment!
On Wednesday afternoon Jean and I hooked a big flatbed trailer, borrowed from a neighbour, to our pickup truck and went into town to collect a new sectional settee that we had recently purchased at a furniture sale.
Yesterday, Michael who comes in to help us on a regular basis turned up at 8:30 and we all set to. First up was to dismantle an old sectional in our den that had seen much better days and then carry that out to the front.
Next we moved a settee from our living-room to the den.
Last up was to unpack all three units that comprised the new sectional. Oh, nearly forgot! Then the old sectional from the den was loaded on to the trailer and taken to the tip!
By the end of the day this Brit, who will be 72 in a couple of weeks time, was feeling the odd aching muscle or two!
Most animals can benefit from massage, but whether it’s theraputic or not, they sure enjoy it, just like we do. (Photo: Serjey Saraschenko/Shutterstock)
I get massages whenever I’m able, and it’s my answer to the fun party question: “What would you do with a million dollars?” Well, first I’d pay off my grad school loans, but second on the list would definitely be weekly massage. Every time I get one, I end up walking on air; for me it’s like doing a yoga class without the effort.
But watching massage can be relaxing too — not watching people (that’s icky), but animals. I’m not the only one: My Facebook feed is littered with people posting and reposting cute furry animals both wild and domesticated getting backs kneaded and shoulders rubbed. My favorites are below, so if you need a moment of chill, check out a couple of these and relax.
This corgi’s face massage is a joy to watch, and it’s funny too — check out his reclining position which is more guy-napping-on-a-pool-float than canine.
This sweet gray kitten getting an ever-so-gentle facial massage in the sunshine starts out asleep and seems to get more relaxed as you watch. Is that even possible?
Guinea pigs are known for being snuggly creatures, but also nervous ones. Watching this one slowly relax does the same thing for me.
If you get sucked into this video like I did, you’ll be rewarded with a soft-as-marshmallow white bunny, which follows the gray bunny. Spoiler alert: Both get lots of love.
The relaxation and happiness of this pregnant cow getting a solid rubdown is crystal clear even though the video quality is low.
Aside from dogs, horses are probably the domesticated animal that gets the most serious massage attention, since many of them are performers and athletes, either in the dressage ring or on a racecourse. So there are lots of instructional videos about horse massage, but I think Jess, a trained horse massage therapist, shows it best.
There are a lot of animals that give themselves massages, especially otters. This one is clearly an expert — after a solid minute of scalp massage, she has a nap!
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Well I have to say that receiving a massage directly would have been a tad better than watching these animals get their massages, but it was way, way better than nothing!
Since the start of the rain on Thursday morning we have received over 9in of rain (23 cms). Since midnight this day, over 2 ins (5 cms) have fallen.
This was empty last Wednesday!
The internet connection is terrible and I have low confidence that it will stay up all day.
So please forgive me for leaving you with just this for now.
Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible!
Footnote!
By 3pm yesterday over 3 in (7.5 cms) of rain had fallen and Jean and I decided to go and rent a couple of movies to watch for the evening.
On the way of our driveway, that is a 1/4 mile long from the house to Hugo Road, it crosses over Bummer Creek. I took the following two pictures of the creek from the bridge.
Bummer Creek: looking upstream.
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Bummer Creek: looking downstream.
Farewell the hazy, lazy, dry days of Summer!
Second footnote
The rain paused a little after 5pm and I managed to snap the following rather evocative (well to me, anyway) scenes of a misty outlook.
Mount Sexton to the North-East of us.
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Fairy-tale scene??
(Oh, and by 6pm the rain gauge was reading 3.6 in/9.14 cms)
Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.
Those words above are attributed to Mother Teresa and I have no reason to doubt that.
George Monbiot
I selected them because they seemed to capture the mood that flowed out at me from a recent essay by George Monbiot.
Many will know George for he is a British writer very well-known for his environmental and political activism. He writes a weekly column for The Guardian, and is the author of a number of books.
Way back in the early days of this blog I was moved to republish some of GM’s essays and sought his permission to do just that. He responded promptly giving me blanket permission to republish any of his essays.
Now it’s a long time since I have availed myself of that permission for the simple reason that so very often George writes about matters that are tough to read and I choose not to share with you because there’s no shortage of tough commentaries about today’s world. That’s no criticism, actual or implied, into George Monbiot’s integrity as a reporter and writer.
By George Monbiot, published in the Guardian 3rd October 2016
Two years ago, I wrote a column for the Guardian in which I argued that what distinguishes our age from those preceding it is an epidemic of loneliness. Throughout human history, we have been hyper-social animals, dependent on each other for both physical and psychic survival. Thomas Hobbes’s claim – that our natural state is a war of “every man against every man” – is a myth proposed by someone whose understanding of human evolution was confined to the book of Genesis. But the myth is now being realised through the religion of our time: a celebration of extreme individualism and universal competition. The resulting loneliness, I argued, is a deadly condition, which kills as many people as smoking or obesity.
To my astonishment, the article exploded, and the ripples can still be felt today. A documentary it inspired, called the Age of Loneliness, aired recently on BBC1. Several publishers asked me to write books on the topic, but I could think of nothing more depressing than spending three years sitting on my backside, documenting social isolation. There was plenty I wanted to say on the topic. But how?
A few weeks later, I dashed out to buy some screws from a hardware shop. Ahead of me in the queue was an elderly woman. She lent on the counter, dithering about what she wanted and trying to engage the sales assistants in a riveting conversation about her state of health. Stuck behind her, I quietly fumed: it seemed as if she would never leave.
But as I cycled home, and my frustration ebbed away, I saw what should have been obvious: here was a person who seemed desperately lonely. “Where’s your empathy?”, I asked myself. “Isn’t that what you were writing about?”. What if that conversation was the only one she would have all day? I felt guilty about my feelings in the shop.
When I returned to my desk, I began dashing out a rough poem about a woman living with little to keep her company but memories, who goes to the shops in the hope that she might talk to someone, but discovers that the tills have been replaced with automatic checkouts. As I wrote, it seemed to me that it was trying to become something else: a ballad. Suddenly I knew what I wanted to do with the topic: I wanted to write an album.
There were just a couple of minor hitches. I can’t read music, I don’t play an instrument and my singing is banned under international law. But I knew who to ask.
I first heard Ewan McLennan while listening to Late Junction on Radio 3, in 2011. I was transfixed by his voice, his playing and what seemed to be an almost supernatural ability to find the heart of a song. He was just 25. I bought his first album, Rags and Robes, and listened to it over and again. Three years later, I heard him interviewed by Mary Ann Kennedy, whose programmes I’ve followed since she began broadcasting on Radio Scotland. He spoke with the same ease of expression I had heard in his music. He was relaxed and funny, politically engaged and plainly fascinated by the roots and text of songs and poems. He came across as a cracking bloke.
I did something I have seldom done: I sent him a fan letter. I invited him to a talk I was giving in his home city, Bristol. He came, and over dinner afterwards we clicked. So, a few months later, with some trepidation, it was to him that I sent my idea of collaborating on a themed album.
To my delight, he agreed. I would start by thinking up a story and writing a rough sketch, which might incorporate some potential hooks, rhymes and choruses. I would send it to him on the understanding that he could do whatever he liked with it. I did not try to write to his style, as I knew he would take from each sketch what he wanted and make the song his own.
I wasn’t wrong. A couple of weeks after I emailed the first sketch to him, I found an audio file in my inbox, and opened it with the excitement of a child at Christmas. It was wonderful – he had turned my base metal into gold. The songs he sent back to me were riveting and heart-wrenching, capturing sensations I have long struggled to express.
The album is a mixture of dark shades and light: sad ballads and stirring anthems. We want to use it as a means of not only talking about loneliness, but, in a small way, addressing it. With advice from charities working on the issue, we are designing our gigs to try to bring people together. I will talk about the themes and Ewan will perform the songs. We will encourage people in the audience to talk to each other; then it will end up with a party in the nearest willing pub. Music naturally makes connections; we want to take it a step further.
In one respect, the album is already succeeding, as the collaboration has relieved the usual solitude in which we both work, making our lives less lonely. I hope it has the same effect on other people.
Breaking the Spell of Loneliness, by Ewan McLennan and George Monbiot, is released on October 14 by Fellside Records.
Here’s a short video about the project, featuring some of the music:
This remarkable collaboration between author George Monbiot and musician Ewan McLennan seeks to address the curse of our age: a crowded planet stricken by loneliness. Using music and the written word, it seeks to make connections in a splintered world.
Now, dear reader, you would be disappointed if I didn’t close today’s post without reference to the value of a dog or two in one’s life, and I have no intention of delivering such disappointment!
From the dozens of pictures that have been presented here over the years I chose this one.
Because I have this notion that one can never be truly alone if there is a dog in one’s life.
Learning from Dogs 