Introspection!

Personal musings on what ‘live for the day’ means.

Jeannie wakes early on in the morning; it’s one of the characteristics of Parkinson’s Disease (PD). So last Sunday morning I was washed and dressed by 5am (PST), and listening to the BBC’s World at One. (No connection with today’s post.)

Later on I started writing this post with a first look at what ‘live for the day’ means in the eyes of others. At first I wanted to research the phrase; imagine my surprise when I found out there wasn’t a consistent meaning.

Dictionary.com came up with Concentrate on the present, with little or no concern for the future.

Merriam-Webster gave live for meaning one of three things: lived for; living for; lives for.

The English-Collins dictionary, according to Wikipedia: The dictionary uses language research based on the Collins Corpus, which is continually updated and has over 4.5 billion words. But it did not easily give me any answer to my question.

Quora was too complicated for me to easily search for this phrase.

Thus I abandoned that approach.

I also did not reach out to friends and ask them what they thought of the saying. But, to me, that meaning from Dictionary.com seemed the closest to what I had in mind. So let me settle on that.

Concentrate on the present, with little or no concern for the future.

But how can Jeannie and me live without ‘concern for the future‘?

The list of things that we think about that involve the future is enormous. Many of the things are relatively minor, such as do we have enough food in the house, or petrol in the car, going on to do have I enough COB (Corn, Oats, Barley) to feed the deer that come here each morning, etc., etc.

Then there are future plans such as keeping next Tuesday clear (that is today, in fact) for Jeannie and Dordie to be out together for a few hours. Plus, in a few months time, my son is coming over to stay with us in April, and Richard coming in May. (Richard is a great British friend who was diagnosed with PD the same time as Jean.)

Then there is the task of keeping the trees within fifty feet of the house safe. That involves cutting down the trees that are getting old and trimming off the lower branches in the others. This is part of our desire to stay safe if a forest fire comes through this part of Merlin. We would be evacuated if that happened and part of our preparation is to have an ‘exit pack’ at the ready. Something else that affects our ‘concern for the future‘.

Finally in this list of introspections comes the ultimate end! I am in my 80th year and Jean and I find ourselves talking about death more often than we did at a younger age. Is that normal? I do not know. We are both humanists; I hope I will outlive Jean because I love her to pieces and want to be the last person she sees and embraces. It is one of the reasons that I go bike riding on a regular basis and staying as healthy as we can embraces the fact that we are both pescatarian and attend the local Club Northwest two days a week. Jeannie goes to the Rock Steady Class held at the Club.

So that is a pretty good set of reasons why living for the day is not viable.

ooOOoo

Footnote

We lost our Brandy yesterday morning. He went out for his usual ‘whatever’ at a little after 5am and after he had been back in the house for no more than a minute, he shook his head and went to the front door to be let out again! I thought he had gone out for a poo.

After I was washed and dressed, but it was still dark, I started to look for him aided by my big torch. I could not see him anywhere. To cut a long story short here we are at 4pm and he hasn’t surfaced. My speculation was that his head shake was a brain problem and then he lost all sense of where he was. To continue that speculation, I believe he ended up being swept away in Bummer Creek, that crosses our property just in from the main gate, and was drowned.

But we just don’t know!

Poor, poor Brandy. We will miss you forever!

25 thoughts on “Introspection!”

  1. Oh my god! That’s utterly terrible news! I’m so, so, so sorry to hear this, Paul. I truly hope he did not suffer… Or is still suffering somewhere.

    As per the body of this post, I think you’ll like this:

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      2. John, as we do not know what happened to Brandy it is theoretically possible that he is still alive. But we searched far and wide yesterday. If Brandy ended up in Bummer Creek then that flows in a few miles into Rogue River and at the moment all waterways are in flood as a result of over 11 inches of rain in January. It is a very grim thought.

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      3. Shit. My heart goes out to both of you. You gave him a wonderful few years full of love and safety… Years he would not have had.

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      4. Brandy was born in 2013. I was trying to reference when we got him but despite writing a post about that I can’t at the moment look up that article. Will do that later. But I think it was four, maybe five, years ago. Thank you very much for your sympathy.

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      6. Technically, we saw him in the corner of a large barn and asked the owner of the property was he for sale. The lady said that he was too large for her and we could take him. So we did!

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  3. Paul, how sad to know Brandy has gone off and can’t be found. Prayers that he didn’t or isn’t suffering. It is possible that he went off purposefully. 🙏 Our German Shepard (age 17) did that and was found near a river bank. Old, nearly blind and arthritic, she had had enough. We revived her for a few months, then let her go peacefully. 🐶

    I can’t just live for the day either. I’m 84 and think about the future all the time. Yes, and talk about death! And how to organize the house and belongings so it’s not a huge burden for those I leave behind. A lot of responsibility! The only words I can offer about “live for the day” come from super star Janis Joplin.”You can destroy your now by worrying about the future.” (Joplin is in my book sequel, in progress). For me, the thinking & planning takes the worry away! 📚🎶 Christine

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    1. Oh Christine, your words are a great comfort and in my heart that is what I think happened. Brandy had had enough and wanted to go, and in true doggy style, he decided. Enough said!

      Ditto re Janis Joplin in that I think, probably too much, and plan all the time. I do not worry, and thank you again for your wonderful words.

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  4. Awwww…. So, so, sorry to hear that about Brandy… really heart-breaking for you both..
    And I am afraid I live for today Paul, no use worrying over what may be..
    My sister is the same.. She has Leukaemia is younger than I.. And we take each day as it comes.. Enjoying Life. In the Moment. Death knocks when it knocks… its part of Life.
    Sending you both my love Paul.. xx ❤

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    1. Dearest Sue, thank you for your reply. I understand and share your philosophy about death. Jean does as well. But with Brandy it is not knowing what happened to him that is so difficult to understand. It would easier, much easier, if his body was found. Thank you again, Sue. xxxx 😍

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      1. I think that is the worst part of it Paul the not knowing… We had a cat once upon a time go missing… the not knowing and hunting for him was harder than having to have an ill cat put to sleep… xx So my heart is with you both Paul xx

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      2. Absolutely! It is the not knowing. But you need to know that our friends and neighbors, including those who have responded to my blog post, dear Sue, have been incredibly touching to Jean and me.

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  5. I just came back to read your whole post Paul. Oh I am so so sorry. My heart aches for you both.
    He may have gone to a hole or under bushes to lie down for the last time. I had a friend who had a black lab that did that at the end and they found him a few days later. Sometimes they know and find their way to a safe resting place. 🙏🏻

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    1. We wish he could be found. But it is now six days since he disappeared and there is no sign of him whatsoever, and I have literally walked all 13 acres looking for him. My judgement was that Brandy leapt into the swollen Bummer Creek and was taken to his death.

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