At first, this may seem like a rather bizarre question.
Before plunging in to today’s post, can I just explain, especially to those who are new to this place, why there has been a preponderance of republished articles from other sources in recent times. (And that’s not to say that these articles aren’t fascinating reads; by the way.)
While my book is now available, I am still just over a week away from a formal launch, both here on Learning from Dogs, and locally in the town of Grants Pass. However, the level of demands upon me in connection with the launch is building rapidly. For example, on Friday a team from the local Daily Courier are coming here in connection with a feature article that they want to write. On Saturday, Jean and I have a stand at a local craft fair. Next Tuesday I have my fingers crossed that there will be a radio broadcast from local KAJO about the book on their local community slot. (More details will be published here once the time and day has been confirmed.)
I’m sure you get the picture!
So with all that out of the way, here’s a wonderful sequel to my recent posts on Stillness and Happiness. It is a fascinating essay from Val Boyco under the heading of W.A.I.T., republished with Val’s kind permission.
Posted on December 1, 2015 by Val Boyko
I love to work with people on becoming better communicators. The key, of course, is to learn to really listen – becoming engaged listeners and tuning into the other person, rather than letting our own thoughts take us away from the moment and distract us.
But before we even get to this step, there is one vital piece of wisdom to absorb.
When we are talking we are not listening.
So, the question to ask yourself is : Why Am I Talking?…
Have you ever considered why you are talking? It is usually more than sharing valuable information; that’s for sure!
Next time you notice you are talking, consider these questions:
- Am I trying to release something that’s bottled up?
- Am I trying to persuade someone to my point of view?
- Is it a habit?
- Am I trying to work through something out loud?
- Do I have an unmet personal need that I am trying to get met? For example: a need for validation, attention, love, approval, recognition or to be right.
- Do I find talking entertaining?
- Am I uncomfortable with silence?
- Do I believe that people really need all the information I am providing, that I am being helpful or teaching something?
- To explore more, you may want to write W.A.I.T.? on a post-it note before your next meeting and notice what comes up for you.
When we become aware of our talking, we are in a better position to choose whether we want to continue or not. Enjoy tuning in to yourself this week.. and this video.
Guess I have nothing more to say! 😉