Category: Humour

Hugs for the Irish

It’s the way that you say it!

Sent in by Bob Derham – thanks Bob.

This is the Irish Medical Dictionary.

Now don’t knock it for because the Irish don’t take their medical terminology too seriously, they have the lowest stress rate!

Artery – The study of paintings
Bacteria – Back door to cafeteria
Barium – What doctors do when patients die
Benign – What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section – A neighbourhood in Rome
Cat scan – Searching for Kitty
Cauterize – Made eye contact with her
Colic – A sheep dog
Coma – A punctuation mark
Dilate – To live long
Enema – Not a friend
Fester – Quicker than someone else
Fibula – A small lie
Impotent – Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain – Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff – A Doctor’s cane
Morbid – A higher offer
Nitrates – Rates of Pay for Working at Night,
Normally more money than Days
Node – I knew it
Outpatient – A person who has fainted
Pelvis – Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative – A letter carrier
Recovery Room – Place to do upholstery
Rectum – Nearly killed him
Secretion – Hiding something
Seizure – Roman Emperor
Tablet – A small table
Terminal Illness – Getting sick at the airport
Tumour – One plus one more
Urine – Opposite of you’re out

So now you know!

Picture parade nineteen.

Entire set courtesy of Dan Gomez.

Oh, and don’t forget to read the final item!

It’s the first day of December!

oooo

oooOOOooo

What a delightful set of photographs.

Coincidentally, rather timely with what is most definitely not a delightful weather warning for next week. As in the latest Special Weather Statement from the National Weather Service (NWS). Note we are living in Josephine County, just a few miles from Grants Pass:

Special Weather Statement

SPECIAL WEATHER STATEMENT…CORRECTED
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE MEDFORD OR
404 PM PST SAT NOV 30 2013

ORZ023>026-020015-

CENTRAL DOUGLAS COUNTY-EASTERN CURRY COUNTY AND JOSEPHINE COUNTY-
EASTERN DOUGLAS COUNTY FOOTHILLS-JACKSON COUNTY-
INCLUDING THE CITIES OF…DRAIN…ELKTON…ROSEBURG…SUTHERLIN…
GREEN…MYRTLE CREEK…CANYONVILLE…GLENDALE…GRANTS PASS…
CAVE JUNCTION…STEAMBOAT…TOKETEE FALLS…MEDFORD…ASHLAND
404 PM PST SAT NOV 30 2013

…VERY COLD WEATHER THIS WEEK WITH LIGHT SNOW POSSIBLE IN THE VALLEYS…

A STRONG COLD FRONT WILL MOVE THROUGH THE REGION ON MONDAY.
PRECIPITATION IS EXPECTED TO BE RAIN IN THE VALLEYS THROUGH MONDAY
AFTERNOON, HOWEVER BY MONDAY NIGHT AND TUESDAY IT WILL BE COLD
ENOUGH THAT SNOW MAY FALL ALL THE WAY TO THE VALLEY FLOORS.

THE AIRMASS WILL THEN DRY OUT AND BECOME VERY COLD TUESDAY NIGHT
THROUGH THE REST OF THE WEEK. LOW TEMPERATURES WILL BE WELL DOWN
INTO THE 20S OVER SOUTHWEST OREGON VALLEYS WITH HIGHS IN THE LOW
TO MID 30S. THURSDAY MORNING IS EXPECTED TO THE BE THE COLDEST
TIME WHEN LOWS IN THE MID TO UPPER TEENS ARE POSSIBLE.

IT IS CERTAIN THAT VERY COLD WEATHER IS COMING TO SOUTHWEST
OREGON THIS WEEK. CONFIDENCE IN SNOWFALL IS LOWER, BUT RESIDENTS
AND TRAVELERS SHOULD ALSO BE PREPARED FOR THE POSSIBILITY OF
LIGHT SNOW EARLY TUESDAY WHICH COULD IMPACT TRAVEL.

STAY TUNED TO THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE FOR UPDATED FORECASTS
AS THIS STORM SYSTEM APPROACHES.

Our local Grants Pass Weather website is predicting a low around 20 for Wednesday Night. (-5 deg C.) B’rrrr!

Travel ideas for the New Year?

Inconclusive travel plans for 2014

The following was sent to me by long-term friend, Bob Derham, who has contributed other wonderful items to Learning from Dogs. It had, in turn, been sent to Bob by a good friend of his. Well worth sharing.

oooOOOooo

Travel plans for 2014?

I have been in many places, but I’ve never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can’t go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I’ve also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don’t have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I’m not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I’ve been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I’m in Capable, and I go there more often as I’m getting older.

One of my favourite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

And, sometimes I think I am in Vincible but life shows me I am not.

People keep telling me I’m in Denial but I’m positive I’ve never been there before!

I may have been in Continent, but I don’t remember what country I was in. It’s an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there.

I have been in Deep s*** many times; the older I get, the easier it is to get there.

“Life is short. Smile while you still have your teeth.”

oooOOOooo

Priceless. Thank you Bob (and Andrew).

Happy Birthday to my lovely wife!

Thanksgiving Day.

Yes, we’ve all made it another year.

All of you, every single one of you, including all the animals – be grateful for this last year take care this next year!

So how to close this post?

Well by just enjoy something that Cynthia sent in a week ago by clicking here.

Regards to all.

Picture parade eighteen.

Winter on its way.

We have had a run of cold days here in Southern Oregon going down to the mid-twenties Fahrenheit at night (-4 deg C.)

So this first picture sent in by John H. seemed appropriate for today.

oooo

Then continuing with the series that started last Sunday.

oooo

Wise words indeed.

oooo

Finally, to a short but inspiring video sent to me by Dan Gomez.

A man, a dog, a cat and a rat…

This is a video of a homeless man in Santa Barbara and his pets.
They work State Street every week for donations.
The animals are pretty well fed and are mellow.
They are a family.
The man who owns them rigged a harness up for his cat so she wouldn’t have to walk so much (like the dog and the man himself).
At some juncture the rat came along, and as no one wanted to eat anyone else, the rat started riding with the cat, frequently on the cat.
For a few chin scratches the dog will stand all day and, let you talk to him and admire him.

So the Mayor of Santa Barbara decided to film this clip and send it out as a holiday card.

Happy Thanksgiving in so many ways!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D85yrIgA4Nk

A Saturday smile fishy story!

But on this Saturday in November it really is a fish story, or so I thought.

Earlier in the month, I received an e-mail from Dan Gomez. It told of this tale from Grand Lake St. Marys:

A guy who lives at Lake Saint Mary’s (60 miles north of Dayton, OH ) saw a ball bouncing around kind of strange in the lake and went to investigate.

It turned out to be a flathead catfish that had apparently tried to swallow a basketball which became stuck in its mouth!!

The fish was totally exhausted from trying to dive, but unable to, because the ball would always bring him back up to the surface.

The guy tried numerous times to get the ball out, but was unsuccessful. He finally had his wife cut the ball in order to deflate it and release the hungry catfish.

You probably wouldn’t have believed this, if you hadn’t seen the following pictures:

oooo

Be kinder than necessary because everyone bites off more than they can chew sometime in life…

oooOOOooo

I loved the story but then wanted to know: was it true?

Sadly, the story is true but the location is false. Snopes.com researched this back in 2005. Hoax-Slayer.com wrote about it in 2007 after it “went viral”.

The true story originated in the Whichita (Kansas) Eagle on May 30, 2004. The man in the photo turns out to be Bill Driver, a fisherman at Sandalwood Lake who discovered the catfish with a taste for hardwood glory.

Two wonderful lessons to be learned from both the story and the story behind the story!

Don’t believe everything you read on the Internet and there’s always something fishy about a fisherman’s tale.

Have a great week-end.