Playing with words

Just something silly for the week-end, with thanks to John H. for forwarding it.

 

When chemists die, they barium.

I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.

Velcro — what a rip off!

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

The recent earthquake in Washington,DC was obviously the government’s fault.

4 thoughts on “Playing with words

  1. These are fantastic. Thanks to John H. did they come from Steward Francis?

    I am working on my own compilation of humorous quotations regarding psychiatrists and therapy, such as: “Insanity is a state of mind” (Alan Alda).

    1. Oh, what a fabulous clip! Thank you so much.

      But the source of the above I know no more than they came from John H., right here in Payson.

      Best of luck on your own compilation, Paul

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