Category: Humour

Picture Parade Two Hundred and Fifty-Four

Street Improvements!

After those wonderful Kennel Club photographs I was truly intrigued as to how I could follow them up with today’s Picture Parade.

Then dear neighbour and very good friend, Dordie, came to the rescue.

For it was Dordie who sent me the following! I will share all twelve of them with you today!

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There are some very imaginative and creative souls out there!

Thank you, Dordie!

Reflections – Day Three

Last one from me but indebted nonetheless to Wibble

My second reflection was Never underestimate the power of unintended consequences!

Here’s my third. But first a story!!

Before I met my darling Jean I was living in the small South Devon village of Harberton. In an old converted stone barn known as Upper Barn.

Upper Barn, Harberton.

Harberton was located just three miles South-West of Totnes.

Despite the population of Harberton being just 300 persons the village had its own pub The Church House Inn located appropriately alongside the church!

Church House Inn, Harberton

I didn’t stroll the 200 yards from Upper Barn to the pub on a daily basis but certainly went there once or twice a week.

One Winter’s evening I went in to the pub for a quick pre-dinner pint. David, the landlord was behind the long bar counter, again shown to you below courtesy of the internet.

Beside me there was a single, elderly man sitting on one of the bar stools supping his pint.

I was standing next to him waiting for David to serve me and must have muttered something about the weather or about the latest local news or something inane; too long ago for me to remember.

However, I do remember so clearly what this delightful man said in response to whatever it was that I muttered.

All the world’s a little queer, save you and me, and I ha’ me doubts about thee!

I roared with laughter immediately upon hearing that wonderful reflection about the world. Added, I should say, spoken by him with a rich Devon dialect. At which point this wonderful gent spoke again and it is those next words that are my final reflection.

Now’t so queer as folk!

I never met that delightful old Devonian man again so, therefore, he will have had no idea at all at how his quotation has become part of me!

Same nominations as before:

(Finally do please note that the images in this post may be subject to copyrightLearn More)

Beat the blues!

As seen on the photography forum UglyHedgehog.

That, by the way, is an excellent forum for all those with an interest in photography!

This really made Jean and me laugh out loud!

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An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: “Dr. Geezer’s clinic. Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000.”

Doctor “Young,” who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr.Geezer’s clinic.

Dr. Young: “Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?

Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young’s mouth.”

Dr. Young: Aaagh !! — “This is Gasoline!”

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”

Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

Dr. Young: “I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything.”

Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”

Dr. Young: “Oh, no you don’t, — that is Gasoline!”

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”

Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.

Dr. Young: “My eyesight has become weak — I can hardly see anything!!!

Dr. Geezer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that so, “Here’s your $1000 back.” (giving him a $10 bill)

Dr. Young: “But this is only $10!

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500.”

Moral of story — Just because you’re “Young” doesn’t mean that you can outsmart an “old Geezer”

Remember: Don’t make old people mad. We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to tick us off.

Dr. Geezer’s Clinic – ENJOY YOUR DAY !!

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Have a great week, everyone!

Saturday Smile

This was too good not to publish without delay!

It was sent to me by Suzann yesterday.

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Senior Shoplifter…

A cranky older woman “in her senior years” was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store. She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager to the security guard to the arresting officer who took her away. She complained and criticized everything and everyone throughout the process.

When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked her what she had stolen from the store.

The lady defiantly replied, “Just a stupid can of peaches you old fool.”

The judge then asked why she had done it.

She replied, “I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store.”

The judge asked how many peaches were in the can.

She replied in a nasty tone, “Nine! But why do you care about that?”

The judge answered patiently, “Well, ma’am, because I’m going to give you nine days in jail — one day for each peach.”

As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady’s long-suffering husband raised his hand slowly and asked if he might speak.

Continue reading “Saturday Smile”