Tag: Hope

A Way Forward?

Removing the fear of the unknown

I’ve been working with most of my clients recently through painful transformations brought about by the economic downturn.

An interesting metaphor really because since the first wave of uncertainty triggered panic, first noticed in the UK banking system, I have been picking up on that uncertainty that feels like it’s stalking the globe at the moment.

Interestingly, I, too, have been aware of an underlying fear that was difficult either to name or source.

It has been rather like a deep river in that whilst the surface feels slow moving, currents are moving things powerfully below.

So this ‘fear’ has caused a few household changes.

We now are the proud owners of 9 chickens. Our youngest son, Sami, and I have dug up the back lawn and planted vegetables and built a poly-tunnel.

We have also installed a wood burning cooker. Right back down to the base of Maslow’s triangle really!

Maslow’s triangle of needs

These feelings have brought about such change everywhere and I wonder seriously whether we will ever return to what was; indeed would we want to?

I might not have mentioned it in previous blogs but as well as an engineering background, in latter years, I have focused on how interpersonal success in business is linked directly to relationships, integrity and vitally, self-awareness.

To inform this, some 7 years ago, I embarked on an MA in Core Process Psychotherapy, primarily to work on myself so that I could be the best I could be in my relationships, in and out of work.

The point I’m trying to make is that the same panic I notice in many of the companies I work in, and in me, is based on fear of the unknown and on a lack of trust in all its forms.  I’ve deliberately underlined that last phrase because it is so incredibly important.

The truth is that we get more of what we focus on.

So we can choose to focus on the constant news of more difficulties, hardship and redundancies, or we can focus on what is working.

In the workplace this positive focus has been pulling people together across functions and sites and pooling resources and ideas.

A farm evening

When we realise we’re not doing this alone it’s amazing how much lighter a load can feel and how much more inspired we feel.

I also notice how humour begins to flow and what a powerful antidote for doom and gloom that is.

Transformation is never easy but the rewards far exceed the effort put in ten fold.

So what is it going to be? Are we all going to bow down to the god of Doom & Gloom, fear and anxiety, heaping more and more gifts around it, or are we going to start noticing and focusing on the other neglected god – that of relationship, joy, trust, abundance and lightness?

Whatever the future holds for us all a belief in our inherent ability to adapt and change and focus on the greater good rather than fear, anxiety, greed and selfishness is the only sustainable way forward.

By Jon Lavin

[If you have been affected by this Post and would like to contact Jon, he would be delighted to hear from you. Ed.]

Maybe, just maybe ….

… David Cameron and Nick Clegg represent real positive change for the UK.

Another amazing day for British politics as Gordon Brown tendered his resignation to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and in less than an hour the Queen asked David Cameron if he would form a Government.

That wonderful unwritten constitution dealing with a change of Prime Minister in such a beautiful and dignified manner.

Nick Clegg

All I want to say is that these two men have my prayers and best wishes for delivering what so many millions want – a better and fairer way of running a modern democracy.

Rt Hon David Cameron

By Paul Handover

A Teen’s Reflections

This is the second Guest post from AJ Easton, a 13-year-old girl from North Carolina, USA. AJ first wrote about Learning from Horses on January 17th this year. This is a more reflective essay that would have been a credit to someone with many, many more years.

Trust is a complicated thing…

You have to learn to trust, but it is not something that can be taught in schools. You also have to earn trust, by keeping secrets and not spreading rumors.

With the people you trust, you do things you wouldn’t do with other people . Your true self comes out with the people you trust. You don’t worry about being judged; you don’t worry about people disliking you for who you are.

AJ Easton

But, in our modern-day world, it seems as if everyone judges.

People seem to hate for reasons as stupid as one’s appearance. People don’t trust people anymore because it seems that we are constantly warned to avoid strangers because they might hurt you, murder you, or completely mess up your life in some way, shape, or form.

And in school, if you trust someone enough to tell them a secret, they don’t keep it. And then, in your point of view, the world has ended.

All because of some secret that got out about who you like, or what you did with the person you were dating, or something else that, in the end, isn’t all that important.

Then everyone will judge you based on that rumor until you leave the school or graduate. They do this to make themselves feel “cool” and “important.”  And you learn not to trust.

Social status has become such a big factor in everything we do these days. Everyone feels as though they have to be highly ranked socially to mean anything to the world.

But, truly, all you have to do is love what you do and respect yourself, to follow your dream and be determined. We should make decisions that help us move forward, not dwelling on the past.  Every second is different; everything is unique. Nothing is the same. Not a single person, or tree, or moment.  Each moment represents a new opportunity.

Don’t have regrets. What has happened has already happened and you can’t change it. Time travel is fictitious, not a reality. You can’t rewind your life to change what you have already done. There is a reason behind everything: remember this when you are having doubts about what you have done.  Learn from your past but don’t let it eat at you.

Live your own life. And learn to trust yourself, and those who love you.

By AJ Easton

The Love of a Dog

Pharaoh – from whom I have learnt so much.

German Shepherd, Pharaoh, born June 3rd, 2003

I am your dog and have something I would love to whisper in your ear.

I know that you humans lead very busy lives.  Some have to work, some have children to raise, some have to do this alone.  It always seems like you are running here and there, often too fast, never noticing the truly grand things in life.

Look down at me now.  Stop looking at your computer and look at me.  See the way my dark, brown eyes look at yours.

You smile at me.  I see love in your eyes.

What do you see in mine?  Do you see a spirit?  A soul inside who loves you as no other could in the world? A spirit that would forgive all trespasses of prior wrong doing for just a single moment of your time?  That is all I ask. To slow down, if even for a few minutes, to be with me.

So many times you are saddened by others of my kind passing on.  Sometimes we die young and, oh, so quickly, so suddenly that it wrenches your heart out of your throat.

Sometimes, we age slowly before your eyes that you may not even seem to know until the very end, when we look at you with grizzled muzzles and cataract-clouded eyes.  Still the love is always there even when we must take that last, long sleep dreaming of running free in a distant, open land.

I may not be here tomorrow.  I may not be here next week.  Someday you will shed the water from your eyes, that humans have when grief fills their souls, and you will mourn the loss of just ‘one more day’ with me.

Because I love you so, this future sorrow even now touches my spirit and grieves me.  I read you in so many ways that you cannot even start to contemplate.

We have now together.  So come and sit next to me here on the floor and look deep into my eyes.  What do you see?  Do you see how if you look deeply at me we can talk, you and I, heart to heart.  Come not to me as my owner but as a living soul.  Stroke my fur and let us look deep into the other’s eyes and talk with our hearts.

I may tell you something about the fun of working the scents in the woods where you and I go.  Or I may tell you something profound about myself or how we dogs see life in general.

I know you decided to have me in your life because you wanted a soul to share things with. I know how much you have cared for me and always stood up for me even when others have been against me.  I know how hard you have worked to help me be the teacher that I was born to be.  That gift from you has been very precious to me.  I know too that you have been through troubled times and I have been there to guard you, to protect you and to be there always for you.  I am very different to you but here I am.  I am a dog but just as alive as you.

I feel emotion.  I feel physical senses.  I can revel in the differences of our spirits and souls.  I do not think of you as a dog on two feet; I know what you are.  You are human, in all your quirkiness, and I love you still.

So, come and sit with me.  Enter my world and let time slow down if only for a few minutes.  Look deep into my eyes and whisper in my ears.  Speak with your heart and I will know your true self.  We may not have tomorrow but we do have now.

(Based on an article sent to me, unfortunately from an unknown author, and modified to reflect the special relationship that I have with my 6 year old German Shepherd, Pharaoh.)

By Paul Handover

Man on the moon

How many remember this?

Very early on in the life of this Blog, indeed on the second day, I wrote a short article about the NASA mission to the moon, some 40 years after the event.  You see, for me that has been the historic event of my lifetime.

I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the Moon and returning him safely to the Earth. No single space project in this period will be more impressive to mankind, or more important in the long-range exploration of space; and none will be so difficult or expensive to accomplish.
Apollo 11 badge

That speech before Congress by President Kennedy was on the 25th May, 1961.  I was 16 and was enthralled by the idea of being alive when man first set foot on another planetary body.  That came about on July 20th, 1969 at which time I was living and working in Sydney, Australia.  I took three days off work, rented a TV and watched every minute of the event.

Exploration is a core need of man.  By pushing out the boundaries of our knowledge we continue to offer hope to mankind.

So it is with great disappointment that it has been announced by President Obama that the manned mission programs to the moon are to be severely curtailed – that sounds terribly like political speak for cancelled!

As Eugene Cernan (last astronaut to set foot on the moon) said:

I’m quite disappointed that I’m still the last man on the Moon. I thought we’d have gone back long before now.
I think America has a responsibility to maintain its leadership in technology and its moral leadership… to seek knowledge. Curiosity’s the essence of human existence.

Curiosity is indeed the essence of human existence.

That curiosity and the investment in space exploration by NASA on behalf of the whole world has shown us some remarkable findings about Saturn and it’s majestic rings.  Just watch the video segments in this piece from the BBC.

The one-time cost of Cassini-Huygens mission was $3.26 billion. Just 0.3% of the cost of one year’s expenditure on U.S. defense spending.

Science missions like Cassini enhance cooperation between nations, and greatly contribute to scientific progress which benefits everyone.

Perhaps the big Banks would like to pick up the cost of further manned missions to the Moon?

By Paul Handover

Attraction

The difference that makes the difference!

Nature's 'law' of attraction

As a follow-up to my last Post on Learning from Dogs “Managing in a mad world“, I got to thinking about the so called “Law of Attraction“.

I say that because I beginning to believe that this ‘Law’ is more about what we think about and focus our attention on than anything that has a tangible force of attraction.  But it is well known that the brain (to protect our sanity!) filters out on a huge scale so this ‘attraction’ may be our minds remaining receptive or, as it were, allowing us to ‘resonate’ with others sharing our ideas and emotions.

Again, I notice this common ground between my psychotherapy clients and my business clients. Successful people tend to focus on the positive and usually have a strong belief in themselves and their abilities, and unsuccessful people who have suffered any sort of difficulty for an extended time, tend to be preoccupied with focussing on the negative and tend to have a negative self-view.

Naturally, we become orientated around our belief systems. This, I believe is where good, consistent parenting comes in because many of our beliefs are taken on from our parents. Even if the parenting style has been ‘tough’ as long as there’s consistency, balance is maintained and there is a solid reference point for the youngster to come away from.

Management styles resemble parenting styles, and why shouldn’t they, as the higher qualities of facilitating structured learning in a safe environment is exactly what good management is all about. Delegating is about empowering and confidence building. Parenting styles that are loose or have little or no structure or that are overbearing and dictatorial tend to be damaging.

Of course, there are no hard and fast rules here, just tendencies but it’s interesting how these are played out everywhere, in every situation where we are in relationship with others. Even more interesting in a recession where companies are really struggling!

How fascinating to clock the number of companies struggling badly who have an autocratic management style, where staff are told what to do and there is little empowerment, and then compare them to ones where the opposite is true and people are free to interact, communicate, feel they’re reasonably empowered and work together in an environment of mutual trust.

The correlation in this part of the South West UK where I mainly work is significant. It’s as if  when we feel empowered and we’re working together with a group of like-minded people, all problems and challenges are solvable, because our self-belief is high and we visualise success. Also, adversity is seen as a challenge and one that can be mastered.

We certainly are living in interesting times!

By Jon Lavin

A Life Span

In the end, it really is a finite number of days!

Ever since I can remember, the biblical life span has always been three score years plus ten, and 70 sounds quite old to me !

Sometimes if people attempt to guess my age, older folks might be generous and say something kind with a built in feel good factor, children on the other hand will come up with huge numbers, which might be not so much of a joke !

In reality the above is just a simple sum of 365 x 70 = 25,550 plus some 15 to 19 days to cover leap years, lets say 25,570 days in all.

For me it is currently 365 x 12 plus the few days to my birthday, plus 3 leap year days, which if all goes well is 4,425 days left. This I have found to be somewhat sobering, but it has also helped me to become focused, something which until recently has never been the case. [Not as sobering as the 1,730 left for the editor!]

I try and make use of each day, being more careful to enjoy the time, exercise, keep up to date with tasks, and make headway with things that count. My priorities have changed, and now spending time with the family, and not wasting

No, not the author!

time with trivia has become my motivation.

This is not doom and gloom, it is reality, but it also helps me stick to the important things, rather than being side-tracked on something which is a waste of time.

The count down is on, and I am reminded of a little saying which used to be on the mantle piece of my Grand Parents home, which read.

Be Swift To Love.
Make Haste To Be Kind

By Bob Derham

The secret life of the dog, Concluding Part

Concluding this fascinating insight into the extraordinary relationship between dogs and man.

If this is your first sight of this multi-part article about dogs then you will need to start at the beginning:

Part One is here.

Part Two is here.

Part Three is here.

Part Four is here.

Part Five is here.

By Paul Handover

Lucky sea dog!

Another wonderful story about a dog rescue

Having recently published a couple of posts about Los Angeles firemen rescuing a dog from a swollen river it was wonderful to catch a short story on the BBC about another dog rescue, this time a dog that had floated miles away from land on an ice floe!

Baltic the lucky dog

Anyway, the BBC have a nice video clip that will put a smile on your face.

By Paul Handover

The secret life of the dog, Part Five

Continuing this fascinating insight into the extraordinary relationship between dogs and man.

If this is your first sight of this multi-part article about dogs then you will need to start at the beginning:

Part One is here.

Part Two is here.

Part Three is here.

Part Four is here.

By Paul Handover