Highlights from the Monty Python Live (mostly) press conference in London, on the day before their reunion shows at London’s O2 Arena kick off. Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle and John Cleese answer questions from the press about the rehearsals, the live show and much more.
Welcome to the official Monty Python YouTube channel. This is the place to find top quality classic Python videos, as well as some special stuff that you’ll only find here – such as interviews and behind-the-scenes footage from our live shows. All the Pythons including John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones & Graham Chapman can be found here being incredibly silly
Yet another wonderful opportunity to chuckle at the world.
Sent to me by dear Cynthia Gomez.
This wonderful collection of sayings from America’s ‘South’ reminded me of the incredibly rich local accents that one experienced all over Britain. Despite being born a Londoner, I spent many of the years before switching home countries from England to America living in the County of Devon in the South-West of England. Here are two images to show those unfamiliar with England where I was living.
County of Devon. Cornwall to the West. Somerset to the East.
oooo
Home used to be in the village of Harberton, 3 miles South-West of Totnes.
Thus anyone born and bred in this part of Devon frequently had a strong South Devon accent. My brother-in-law, John, used to chat to some old Devon fella’s in the local pubs that had accents impossible to understand by such newcomers as me.
So with no further ado, enjoy the following.
ooOOoo
Florida
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. “Amazing,” he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this!” and pulled over to await the trooper’s arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding — a reason I’ve never before heard — I’ll let you go.
“The old gentleman paused then said: “Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.
“Have a good day, Sir,” replied the trooper.
Georgia
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, “Y’all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?”
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, “Everthang but my earrings.”
Louisiana
A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying … “When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana .”When asked why, he replied, “I’d rather be in Louisiana ’cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world.”
Mississippi
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, “Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!”
Bubba replied, “Did y’all see who it was?”
The young man answered, “I couldn’t tell, but I got the license number.”
North Carolina
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, “I got a flat tahr.”
The passerby asked, “But what’s with the flowers?”
The man responded, “When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither.”
Tennessee
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, “Got any ID?”
The driver replied, “Bout whut?”
Texas
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, “Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don’t you see that sign right over your head.”
“Yep,” he replied. “That’s why I’m dumpin’ it here, ’cause it says: ‘Fine For Dumping Garbage.’
ooo
“Y’all kin say whut y’all want ’bout the South, but y’all never heard o’ nobody retirin’ an’ movin’ North.
Tour de France 2013: Spectre of Lance Armstrong could prevent Chris Froome reaping sponsorship deals
The spectre of Lance Armstrong could hurt Chris Froome’s ability to fully exploit his Tour de France triumph, leading sponsorship experts warned last night.
Heading for glory: Chris Froome is cheered on by a British fan Photo: PA
Brands might have been expected to flock to Britain’s latest cycling star after he became the country’s second successive winner of the world’s most famous bike race yesterday.
However, Froome was also the first man to secure the yellow jersey since Armstrong confessed to doping his way to all seven of his Tour de France victories, a scandal from which the sport has yet to fully recover.
A slightly different thought from Willie Nelson brought to you courtesy of Bob Derham:
“I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning seven Tour de France races while on drugs.
When I was on drugs, I couldn’t even find my bike ….”
Spring is sprung, the grass is ris. I wonders where the birdies is. They say the bird is on the wing. But that’s absurd? I always thought the wing was on the bird.
Ah, that feels better!
I was drawn to this wonderful piece of doggerel because it is exactly the sort of humour that dear friend Richard and I have been silly with for 40 years.
The relevance of that is that Richard and his lovely lady Jules have arrived in North America and are coming to stay with us in Oregon for a few days, arriving Saturday. Naturally, we are scurrying around getting the house tidy! So what with that and wanting to enjoy their company for the next week I shall be posting either light-hearted items or repostings from elsewhere.
Having had the internet service down for three days, I’m offering you this lovely dog story as a quick post for today.
The Jobseeker
Thanks to Flickr
A local business looking for office help put a sign in the window saying: “HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.”
One day a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Sensing the dog’s idea, the receptionist fetched the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, since the dog looked determined, he led him into the office.
Once in the office, the dog jumped up and sat on the chair staring at the manager. The manager said, “I can’t hire you. You have to be able to type.”
The dog jumped down from the chair, went across to a typewriter and typed out a letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager, gave the letter to him and then jumped back on the chair. The letter was typed perfectly; the manager was stunned. He then turned to the dog and said, “The sign says you have to be good with a computer.”
The dog again jumped down and went to a computer. He demonstrated his expertise with various programs, producing a sample spreadsheet and database which he presented to the manager.
The manager was totally dumbfounded! He looked at the dog and said, “I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can’t give you the job.”
The dog jumped down and went to the sign in the window. He put his paw on the part about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.
“Yes,” the manager said, “but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual.”
The dog looked him straight in the face, and said, “Meeow.“
Learning from Dogs 