So often ex-shelter dogs are the most loving dogs that can be.
When we moved here to Oregon back in 2012 we came with 12 dogs. All but two of them were dogs that had been rescued either from a shelter or an unwanted home. Then there’s Ruby who is the last of the dogs that Jean rescued off the streets of Mexico.
Jean and Ruby asleep on the couch.
All of which is an appropriate introduction to Jenny Perkins who is an Animal Behavior Specialist and a passionate writer. Jenny adds that: “She loves to write about the nutrition, health, and care of dogs. She aims at providing tips to dog owners that can help them become better pet parents. She writes for the blog Here Pup.”
I am grateful for Jenny’s permission to republish her article here.
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How to Make a Rescue Dog Settle in Your Home
Adopting a dog especially one from the shelter is a serious commitment. Although it is one of the best decisions to make it can get difficult. Therefore it requires you to be prepared to face the upcoming challenges; both mentally and physically.
At times people do adopt rescue dogs but end up giving them up as they get overwhelmed. What we need to understand is that it is equally difficult for the dog too. We don’t know what abuse or emotional trauma he has been through. Maybe he lost his actual house and since had been bumping from shelter to shelter. These incidents have a substantial impact on the dog’s personality, and the new home and people may scare him. Don’t worry it gets better and its worth the sparkle you’ll see in his eyes once he gets used to the new atmosphere.
As a smart dog-parent, you need to know some basics so you can help your rescue dog settle in quickly. One advantage of adopting an adult rescue is that they may already be housetrained and know basic manners. However, you need to make-up your mind that you have to start from scratch. Here is a list of the things you need to do before bringing your new pup home
Things You Need to Have
You need to have all the necessary supplies in your home beforehand, so you don’t have to run to the store now and then. Get some good quality dog food, whatever brand the vet recommends according to the dog’s age, size, and breed. Also buy a crate, a good quality no-pull leash or harness, a collar, an ID, gloves, and waste bags. As for comfort buy a dog bed according to the dog’s size and bowls for the food and water. Get him some interactive and fun chew toys, so he doesn’t get bored when you aren’t around. Keep a first-aid box in case of emergencies. For now just get the essentials such as gauze, scissors, tape, wet wipes, and an antibiotic ointment. Okay so that’s about it, and yes training treats are a must!
Proofing the House
Now since you’ve done all the shopping, let’s discuss the in-house preparation. Dog-proofing your house is vital not just for the safety of your pooch but you as well. First and foremost, remove everything that may be toxic to the dog. Canines are an inquisitive creature, so your dog will start sniffing around the house, exploring places he isn’t supposed to. Chocolates, raisins, nuts, and grapes are common foods that may be poisonous to the dog. Same goes for cleaners, chemicals, medicines, and pesticides. Keep all such products locked in cabinets and secure them with a latch.
Establish Routine
The next task is to prepare yourself for the journey mentally. Remember it is going to be exhilarating but may also frustrate you. Tell yourself that patience is critical; gradually the pooch will learn everything and get accustomed to the house. Dogs feel secure when they have a proper routine and rules that they will follow. Begin by deciding where you will place his bed. It’s better to keep his movement restricted to a small room at first, so he treats it as his home. Next up, decide timings for walks and food. Limit the interactions in the first few days, as that may overwhelm the dog. If possible, take a few days off to spend time with your furry friend and getting to know him better.
When the Dog Comes Home
Once you bring your new friend home, give him a tour of the house. He may be scared so try your best to keep him away from scary situations. If he wants to hide in a corner, let him. Don’t force him to learn everything rapidly and work with him at his pace.
Show him the love and care he deserves. Training will help him adjust better, start teaching him specific behaviors and commands. Only use positive reinforcement methods and teach him the basics like “sit,” “stay.” Keep treats with you to reward him, take him out for short walks, and let him socialize with other dogs. Most importantly work on developing a bond, once it does your dog will never leave your side!
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That bond that so many thousands and thousands of us humans have with our dogs never, ever leaves us!
Because you signed up on our website and asked to be notified, I’m sending you this special recall alert. If you no longer wish to receive these emails, please click the “unsubscribe” link at the bottom of this message.
Steve’s Real Food of Salt Lake City, UT, is recalling one lot of its raw frozen dog food due to possible contamination with Salmonella.
To learn which products are affected, please visit the following link:
If you click on that link in the above recall email then one goes here, and reads:
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Steve’s Real Food Recalls Raw Frozen Dog Food
March 2, 2018 — Steve’s Real Food of Salt Lake City, Utah is voluntarily recalling one lot of its Raw Frozen Dog Food Turkey Canine Recipe due to the potential to be contaminated with Salmonella.
What’s Recalled?
The affected product was sold frozen in 5-pound bags.
Bags affected by this recall are identified with the following UPC codes and “Best by” date located on the package.
Raw Frozen Dog Food Turkey Canine Recipe
5-pound bag
Lot # E178
Best By Date: 9/27/18
Where Was the Product Distributed?
Fifty two cases of this product was distributed between 6/27/17 – 7/15/17.
The potentially affected lot of 5-pound frozen turkey nuggets were distributed to retail pet food stores in the following states: CA, CO, CT, IA, KS, FL, MD, MI, MN, MO, ND, NE, NJ, NV, NY, OR, PA, TX, UT, VA, and WA.
About Salmonella
Salmonella can affect animals eating the products and there is risk to humans from handling contaminated pet products.
Symptoms of infection in people include nausea, vomiting, diarrhea or bloody diarrhea, abdominal cramping and fever.
Rarely, Salmonella can result in more serious ailments, including arterial infections, endocarditis, arthritis, muscle pain, eye irritation, and urinary tract symptoms.
Consumers exhibiting these signs after having contact with this product should contact their healthcare providers.
Pets with Salmonella infections may be lethargic and have diarrhea or bloody diarrhea, fever, and vomiting.
Some pets will have only decreased appetite, fever and abdominal pain.
Infected, but otherwise healthy pets can be carriers and infect other animals or humans.
If your pet has consumed the recalled product and has these symptoms, please contact your veterinarian.
What Caused the Recall?
This recall is being initiated after the firm was notified by the Nebraska Department of Agriculture that a retail sample was collected and tested positive for Salmonella.
No pet or consumer illnesses from this product have been reported to date.
Because of their commitment to overall safety and quality, Steve’s Real Food is conducting a voluntary recall of this product.
Consumers should also follow the safe handling tips published on the Steve’s Real Food packaging, when disposing of the affected product.
This recall is being made with the knowledge of the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.
What to Do?
Consumers are encouraged to check the lot code of any 5-pound frozen turkey nuggets.
Any product with the noted lot code should be returned to the specialty retailer where product was purchased for a full refund.
Consumers with questions may contact Steve’s Real Food at 888-526-1900, Monday thru Friday 9 AM to 4 PM MT.
U.S. citizens can report complaints about FDA-regulated pet food products by calling the consumer complaint coordinator in your area.
So welcome to the first day of March!! Holidays in the offing? Here is some useful advice!
Inevitably, with so many followers (big hugs to you all) I receive emails from people who have a commercial interest in the readership of this blog.
As I did earlier in January.
Hi,
Hope you had a great weekend!
My name is Emma from BestCarSeatHub.com. I’m wondering if we can contribute a fresh and original post about pets (traveling with pets or safety of dogs) to your site Learning from Dogs. It’ll be 100% neutral and written based on your site’s tone.
In return, we’ll be sharing that post to all our networks… helping you gain new and more readers.
Let me know if you’re interested. I’m also willing to discuss any other options you have. Thanks a lot.
—
Sincerely yours, Emma Lachey.
My reply was:
Emma,
Thanks for writing me.
In principle, I am happy to receive your guest post so long as you are happy for me to introduce your company as a firm of which I have no personal knowledge.
Does that work for you?
Paul H.
Emma then sent me the following guest post. It’s very useful advice in my opinion.
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Traveling With Your Dog – A How To Guide
Are you planning to travel with your dog in the future? While it is a great experience and you will certainly have many memories, it will also add a few new levels to your traveling experience. You will have to plan a lot more, make sure your dog is allowed everywhere you go, and make concessions on what you can do.
For most people, boarding their dogs turns out to be the better option – but it doesn’t have to be if you take these tips into consideration. For now, we will focus on traveling with your dog in the car.
Plan Ahead
The first thing you want to do is really plan ahead for your travels. Think about where you may need to take a break for your dog to go to the bathroom – and he will need to go much more frequently than he will just at home. Make sure to have some time set aside so that he can get out and walk around – a dog that wares off some energy will be much easier to deal with in the car.
Finally, make sure that you have places you can go so that your dog doesn’t have to be stuck inside the car when you go to eat. There are plenty of places that either offer outdoor seating or will be happy to pack your food up for you so that you can eat it somewhere where your dog can as well – of course, weather will dictate much of this.
Consider Medication
If your dog has severe anxiety when he or she is in the car, you might want to consider getting medication for your dog. This is something you should only use sparingly, but it is something you want to consider.
Bring Toys and Familiar Items
Does your dog have a favorite toy? How about a familiar bed or blanket? If he does, you want to bring some of those with you, just to make him more comfortable. With toys, you want to get something that he will sit and play with for a long time while you are travelling – this can take away much of the stress.
Use a Dog Car Seat
Dogs get pretty excited about going in the car, especially if they aren’t the type of dogs that get to go for a ride all that often. There are plenty of dog car seats on the market today, from simple tethers or harnesses to high-tech dog booster seats that have all you can ever imagine.
Some other items you want to have?
Leash
Water bowl and water
Treats
Busy Toys
Doggie Bags
Medication
All your dog’s tags
The name and number of a local vet
The car seat won’t only keep your dog safe, which of course is important, but it will keep you safe as well. Dogs running around the car can really distract you from your surroundings and can put everyone in danger.
Be Prepared for Emergencies
Emergencies will happen, and while you hope that you won’t encounter one, you do have to be prepared for anything. Planning in advance will ensure that you can tackle anything that might happen. Before you go on a trip, talk to your vet about anyone that he or she may know near where you are staying. It should be a priority to take your dog to the vet before you leave for your trip anyway. You also want to have the phone number of your vet so that you can call in a pinch. Always make sure that your phone has a full battery so you can look up vets in the car.
If your dog is acting quiet and a little “off,” it could be nothing – your dog could just be adjusting to life this way. However, you want to ensure that your dog has enough time out of the car and has enough water. Once your dog shows sudden signs of illness, then you want to get to work.
If you are driving, you want to map out any vets on the pathway, set an alarm for medications, bring only the highest quality dog food, give your dog adequate bathroom time, and bring all medical records with you.
Make Sure ID Is Always on Your Dog
Make sure that your dog always has a collar on when you are traveling. Make sure the collar has your phone number and your name on it as well. If your dog does get away when you are traveling, this is the best way to ensure that your dog will get back to you.
You might want to consider a microchip as well. You’ll want to have a recent photo of your dog on your phone so that, if the worst does happen, you will have a way to make flyers.
Traveling with your dog doesn’t have to be a terrible experience. Instead, you want to make the most of it by being prepared, taking many photos of your pup, and having the times of your lives.
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Now all that Jean and I need to work out is how to take our six dogs with us when next month we travel to Europe for a couple of weeks!!
The Yaquina Head Lighthouse in Newport, Oregon has a long history, which of course means rumors of ghosts and hauntings. (Photo: P Meybruck/Shutterstock)
On a scenic basalt rock headland that juts almost a mile into the Pacific Ocean stands a beautiful white lighthouse. At 93 feet tall, the Yaquina Head Lighthouse, located in Newport, Oregon, is the state’s tallest lighthouse. It’s been guiding ships for 145 years.
First lit on August 20, 1873, the lighthouse has gained quite the storied history. And that includes two ghost stories.
The Yaquina Head Lighthouse is one of two in Newport, Oregon. (Photo: Dee Browning/Shutterstock)
One tale tells of a construction worker helping to build the tower who fell to his death. His body lodged between the double walls, never to be retrieved. He — and his ghost — have been sealed in ever since.
The second story is that in the 1920s, Keeper Smith went into town and left Keeper Higgins in charge. But Higgins fell sick and asked Keeper Story to take over. When Smith saw from Newport that the lighthouse beacon wasn’t lit, he rushed back to find Higgins dead and Story drunk. Story, overtaken with guilt, feared the ghost of Higgins and from then on would take his bulldog up the tower with him.
A view from the northern side of the Yaquina Head Lighthouse. (Photo: Jeremy Klager/Shutterstock)
As with most ghost stories, the authenticity of these is highly doubted. The first story is unauthenticated, and the second story is impossible. As Lighthouse Friends clarifies:
A great tale, but unfortunately not supported by the facts that Story and Higgins didn’t serve at the same time at Yaquina Head and Higgins didn’t meet his demise in the tower. Rather, Higgins left the Lighthouse Service before 1920 and returned to live with his mother in Portland. Second Assistant Keeper did die of a heart attack in the watchroom atop the tower in March 1921, but he too served before the arrival of Frank Story.
aquina Head Lighthouse stands tall under big cloudy skies. (Photo: haveseen/Shutterstock)
Fortunately, much more than ghosts can be seen at Yaquina Head Lighthouse. The lighthouse stands on what is now the Yaquina Head Outstanding Natural Area, one of the most spectacular
spots on the coast for viewing ocean wildlife such as sea birds and harbor seals at close range, as well as traipsing through tide pools at low tide. An interpretive center highlights information about these wild inhabitants and features exhibits on the historical details of the lighthouse.
Yaquina Head lighthouse by the Oregon Coast during a beautiful sunset. (Photo: RuthChoi/Shutterstock)
The original oil-powered light has given way to an automated first-order Fresnel lens and a 1,000-watt globe. It flashes with its own specific pattern: two seconds on, two off, two on, and 14 off. The pattern is repeated around the clock.
May the lighthouse stand tall for generations to come. (Photo: Tomas Nevesely/Shutterstock)
While a little illumination causes the ghost stories to fade, visitors can still see a lot with a visit to Yaquina Head. Whether it’s grey whales at close range during their migration, or the sun setting over the ocean and silhouetting the tall structure, visitors are always happy they stopped to take in both the scene and the history of this special place.
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I really hope that despite the advance of digital GPS navigation systems it will still be a very long time before these magnificent lighthouses are turned off!
The value of a loving dog is not to be over estimated!
Returning to the theme of how dogs can help us humans fight off depression.
A delightful guest post from Taylor who recently asked if she could share a post from her own blog. I was delighted to have been asked.
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Dogs Can Help Decrease Symptoms of Anxiety and Depression.
by Taylor G. February 23rd. 2018.
I have always been a huge animal person. But mostly, a dog person/mom. I have two pups, and I am a dog walker in my neighboring towns. But I also suffer from depression and anxiety. Doctors always rush to prescribe medicine, but I have found that dogs can help as well. This post will be describing how dogs can help people suffering with depression and anxiety.
Exercise- For all you dog owners out there, you know how much exercise your furry friends require. Since becoming a dog walker, I am forced to exercise and walk everyday. While it hasn’t cured my mental illnesses, it has decreased some of my symptoms. I am forced to get out of bed and do something. In recent studies, they have found that dog owners are a lot more likely to meet daily exercise requirements then none dog owners!
Sense of Purpose- When you know that there is another living being that relies solely on you,
Koda and I on a walk.
you get a sense of worthiness. I know I struggle with feeling needed, but as soon as I schedule a dog walk, I know that that dog needs me. That the dog is waiting for me to walk it. It makes me feel needed in this world. It has increased my self worth and makes me feel like I have a purpose.
Structure/Daily Routine- Many people who suffer with depression and anxiety know the struggle of having a routine. All we want is structure in our lives in a world where everything is hectic and last minute. Having a dog/being a dog walker, gives you a routine. Most dogs get up to do their business at the same time every morning and they know when its walk/feeding time. Trust me 🙂 It has given me a set schedule and has helped me feel more structured and less crazy!
Forever Companion- Dogs will steal your heart, but you will also steal theirs. They are one of the most loving and caring animals out there. They sense your emotions and will be there for you through your good and bad days. I know that when I have a bad day, I always have my happy little furry babies to come home to. They are my friends when my depression tells me I have none.
Petting Reduces Stress- It is proven, that the ‘motion’ and the ’emotion’ the goes into petting,
Chloe with my Guinea Pig Daisy
actually releases oxytocin (hormone related to anxiety relief), which can help reduce blood pressure!
Mindfullness- For people who are trying to practice mindfulness (anxiety/depression technique that keeps you in the current moment), having a dog will help you do that! They keep you distracted from the bad things that are going on, and make you concentrate on their cute shenanigans.
Koda with a cup on his head.
Help with Isolation- For those days when your depression gets the best of you, they help you feel less lonely and less isolated. They will be there for you when no one else is, and knowing that always makes me feel better.
They allow me to smile- Last year, when my depression and anxiety were at its peak, I forgot how to smile. The only time I smiled was when I was in the presence of my dogs. They taught me how to smile again, and I am so grateful to them.
My dogs have helped give me my life back. While I am still fighting my
Koda smiling.
depression and anxiety, I am definitely proof that dogs can help in this fight against mental illness. While they also may be a huge responsibility, they are also a huge help in the war with mental illness.
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I will close by stating the obvious.
That is that everyone who has a dog or two in their life and has times of feeling depressed knows without question what it means to hug a dog.
Those who do not have a dog in their life and have experienced depression should find their own dog to hug – pronto!
The photograph below is the yacht that I lived on for 5 years, from 1987 though to 1992. My base was Larnaca Marina in the Greek ‘sector’ of the Island of Cyprus although I cruised over much of the Mediterranean during the warm summer months. (Long-term readers, you poor souls, will realise that this isn’t the first time I have spoken of sailing and Tradewinds…)
During this period Paul became much more aware of the importance of marketing strategy, becoming a Chartered Member of the British Institute of Marketing, and the raft of competencies that deliver entrepreneurial success. In 1986, Paul accepted an offer to sell the Dataview group of companies. (Regrettably, this period also saw the failure of Paul’s marriage to Britta and their subsequent divorce.)
Again, chance intervened in that an Autumn vacation in 1986 to Larnaca in Cyprus resulted in Paul meeting a couple who wanted to sell their yacht, a Tradewind 33, and return to England. Thus very early in 1987, Paul left Essex and became a full-time ‘yachtie’ living on that Tradewind Songbird of Kent in Larnaca marina. Paul was then exposed to the life of an ocean-going sailor returning to Plymouth, Devon via The Azores onboard Songbird of Kent in 1992.
I purchased this Tradewind 33, designed by Englishman John Rock by the way, because somewhere in my soul was a dream to do some solo ocean sailing. Probably inspired by reading too many books written by famous British solo yacht-persons. Such as Robin Knox-Johnston, Chay Blyth, Naomi James, Ellen MacArthur, Pete Goss and the king of them all: Sir Francis Chichester who was the first person ever to sail around the world single-handed.
But it remained a dream for almost all those 5 years. Reason? Because at the start of the summer cruising period each year I slipped out of Larnaca and sailed along the southern coast of Cyprus, up the Western coast and then the open sea crossing to a nearby Turkish harbour, such as Anamur or Alanya. At the end of the summer I would repeat the solo trip in reverse. But I still haven’t said what the core reason was for not being braver and planning a solo ocean voyage.
Because that sailing voyage twice a year, that took me about four days to accomplish, and was undertaken alone, really scared me. I mean scared with a capital ‘S’! For it was impossible to accomplish without many hours of solo sailing at night!
Fast forward a number of years and one day, when I was living on Songbird at Larnaca Marina into the vacant berth next to me came a new visitor to Cyprus. His name was Les Powells and he very quickly explained that he was on his way back to England on his third solo circumnavigation of the world!
Inevitably Les and I got chatting over a couple of beers during our evenings together and Les asked me about my sailing ambitions noting that I lived on a yacht that most people purchased for ocean sailing purposes.
I explained my miserable experiences each year going to and fro between Cyprus and Turkey.
Les heard me out and then threw his head back and roared with laughter.
“Paul, what you are experiencing is the adjustment from a land-based life, as in living here in Larnaca, to a water-based life.
I suffer just the same adjustment stress as you have detailed.”
My face conveyed both my amazement and my yearning to learn more.
“Yes, Paul, every time I go to sea solo the first three or four days are hell! I hate them! I only stick with it because there is always a point, (Les really emphasised the word always) usually under a glorious night sky, when I truly become attuned to the life of a solo yachtsman far out from the nearest land and wouldn’t swap it for anything”
“You have to trust this and set out on a solo voyage of more than, preferably much more than, four days sailing.”
Thus in time that’s what happened.
In the Autumn of 1972 I returned to Plymouth in England, via the Azores, sailing solo on Songbird of Kent. Indeed, I was going to republish an article about lighthouses in Oregon but I’m changing tack in mid-stream; so to speak!
I am going to close today’s post by republishing an experience of being alone on the Atlantic Ocean that first graced these blog pages in October 2015. Lighthouses will have to wait.
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There is a place in my mind to which I can so easily travel; a memory of a dark night out in the Atlantic. But first let me set the scene from almost fifty years ago.
The call of the open ocean
Those first few hours were utterly absorbing as I went through the whole business of clearing the yacht harbour at Gibraltar and heading out to the South-West hugging this unfamiliar coastline of Southern Spain. It was tempting to move out to deeper waters but the almost constant flow of large ships through the Straights of Gibraltar soon quashed that idea. Thankfully, the coastal winds were favourable for me and my single-masted sailing yacht.
After such a long time sailing in the relatively confined waters of the Mediterranean, it was difficult for me to imagine that in a few hours time the southern-most point of Spain would pass me by and the vastness of the Atlantic ocean would be my home for the next few weeks.
Soon the city of Tarifa was past my starboard beam and the Spanish coastline was rapidly disappearing away to the North-West. The horizon ahead of me was already approaching 180 degrees of raw, open ocean. There was just a flicker of a thought that whispered across my mind: “Oh Paul, what have you gone and done” as slowly but persistently the coastlines of Spain to the North and of Africa to the South became more and more distant and fuzzy. It was at 15:30 that I made an entry in my yacht’s log: “No land in sight in any direction!”
Now was the time to make sure that my bunk was made up, flashlights to hand, and my alarm clock ready and set. Alarm clock? Set to go off every twenty minutes during the night! For this was the only way to protect me and my yacht from being hit by one of those gigantic container ships that seemed to be everywhere. It took at least twenty minutes from the moment a ship’s steaming lights appeared above the horizon to crossing one’s path!
It was in the early hours of my first morning alone at sea, when once again the alarm clock had woken me and I was looking around an ocean without a single ship’s light to be seen that more of Les’ words came to me. I remembered asking Les: “What’s the appeal of sailing?” Les replied without a moment’s hesitation: “It’s the solitude. When you’re out at sea on your own, there’s no government or bankers to worry about. You’re not responsible to anyone but yourself.”
Yes, I could sense the solitude that was all around me but it was an intellectual sense not an emotional one. That would come later. Inside, I was still afraid of what I had let myself in for.
Remarkably quickly however, the pattern of solo life aboard a thirty-three-foot yacht became my world. Frankly, it staggered me as to how busy were my days. Feeding myself, navigating, trying to forecast the winds, staying in touch with other yachties via the short-wave radio, keeping the boat tidy and a zillion other tasks meant the first few days and nights just slipped by.
But it was a sight on my fourth night at sea that created the memory that would turn out to remain with me for all my life. The memory that I can go to anytime in my mind.
That fourth night I was already well into the routine of waking to the alarm clock, clipping on my harness as I climbed up the three steps that took me from my cabin into the cockpit, scanning the horizon with my eyes, checking that the self-steering had the boat at the correct angle to the wind and then, if no ships’ lights had been seen, slipping back down into my bunk and sleeping for another twenty minutes. Remarkably, I was not suffering from any long-term tiredness during the day.
It was a little after 3am that fourth night when the alarm clock had me back up in the cockpit once again. Then it struck me.
Songbird was sailing beautifully. There was a steady wind of around ten knots from the south-east, almost a swell-free ocean, and everything set perfectly. Not a sign of any ship in any direction.
Then I lifted my eyes upwards. There was not a cloud in the night sky, not a single wisp of mist to dim a single one of the million or more stars that were above my head. For on this dark, moonless night, so far removed from any shore-based light pollution, the vastness, yet closeness of the heavens above was simply breath-taking. I was transfixed. Utterly unable to make any rational sense of this night splendour that glittered in every direction in which I gazed. This dome that represented a vastness beyond any meaning other than a reminder of the magic of the universe.
This magic of the heavens above me that came down to touch the horizon in all directions. Such a rare sight to see the twinkling of stars almost touching the starkness of the ocean’s horizon at night. A total marriage of this one planet with the vastness of outer space.
I heard the alarm clock go off again and again next to my bunk down below. But I remained transfixed until there was a very soft lightening of the skyline to the east that announced that another dawn was on its way.
I would never again look up at the stars in a night sky without being transported back to that wonderful night and the memory of a lonely sea and sky.
ooOOoo
Dear, dear Les is still alive and still living on his yacht Solitaire in an English marina. A very close mutual friend, Bob Derham, arranges to visit Les on a very regular basis and take him out for shopping trips and a leisurely pub lunch.
Bob follows this blog and I hope will have the chance to read out today’s post to Les. For my closing sentence is directed to Les, and Les alone: “Dear Les, thank you from the bottom of my heart for the gift you gave me. For it is a rare night when here in rural Oregon when I go outside at the end of the evening and above my head is a clear, black night sky, full of stars, that I am not transported back to that night alone in the Atlantic ocean. I am still rendered speechless in awe of such night skies.”
One of the great differences between us humans and our beloved dogs is that frequently we think too much! But it’s worse than that. We think too much and get caught up in some spiral from which we can’t think ourselves back out. Perhaps that can be likened to a dog worrying away at something that the dog thinks is being overlooked by it’s human friend, or over-licking a wound or such.
A very quick web search will bring up the background information on Dr. de Bono who was responsible for overturning the way we think. It was de Bono who attended an IBM Office Products management course that I was attending, far too many moons ago, when I was promoted from being a salesman to the first rung of the management ladder; the position of Marketing Manager. It was during de Bono’s talk that I first learned of lateral thinking and what de Bono called the “PO” moment.
Just watch the first minute of this talk to get an appreciation of what the PO moment is. Seriously, the video starts with Simon Middleton defining a PO moment. It’s relevant to the rest of this post.
As you all know Jean has Parkinson’s Disease (PD). We have come to understand that PD affects different people in different ways, albeit there are some aspects that many PD sufferers share.
Many individuals report difficulties in multitasking and organizing daily activities.
In recent weeks I noticed I was becoming frustrated because although I was suggesting to Jeannie a number of what I thought were pleasant things to do in and around our property they weren’t being done.
As much as I tried to say to myself to chill out, this is all down to Jean’s PD, I couldn’t push out of sight the growing frustration that my help was being rejected, and I know I have a problem dealing with rejection! I really didn’t want my frustration to build up to anger.
Eventually, one morning last week after I came back to the bedroom from having fed the horses and the deer I blurted out, rather clumsily I admit, this frustration that was close to becoming a real annoyance.
At first Jean was upset by what I said, understandably so, but then we settled down to examining each suggestion of mine and where I was coming from. Then the conversation became very productive and in a moment of creative thinking I suggested what turned out to be a ‘PO’ moment. In other words, we had both agreed that while we acknowledged the fact that Jean was not motivated to do the things I was suggesting nonetheless it was important that we choose another day and time to discuss how I should remind Jean of these ‘overlooked’ suggestions and, more importantly, how it could be done in a loving and constructive manner.
It was a fascinating outcome and I immediately jumped out of bed, went to my office room next to the bedroom, grabbed a new, unused notebook and came back to the bedroom.
“Jean, let’s write this down in the book as a reminder of something we need to return to and resolve in a creative way! Let’s call these reminders Pharaoh moments!”
Jean very happily agreed!
I then explained to Jean that this felt very much like one of de Bono’s PO moments and calling it a Pharaoh moment was a beautiful way of remembering our wonderful dog.
Edward de Bono is the originator of the concept of Lateral Thinking, which is now a firm entry in the Oxford English Dictionary. Dr de Bono was born in Malta. As a well-established academic, de Bono was a Rhodes Scholar at Oxford and holds an MA in psychology and physiology from Oxford. He is a Professor at many leading institutions around the world. He is an author of many best-selling books, and is known as the world’s leading authority on thinking.
I write this post as a very happy man who has lived the value and benefits of not bottling up one’s feelings!
Each of us must care and love ourselves before we can love others.
(Apologies if this post rambles around a bit!)
Dr. Kristin Neff, Ph.D. is widely recognized as one of the world’s leading experts on self-compassion. Dr. Neff has a website over at Self-Compassion.org. If you go to that site you will quickly read (And while I have copied and pasted it 100% as found on that webpage, I have modified the layout to make it easier to read from a visual point-of-view.):
Definition of Self-Compassion:
Having compassion for oneself is really no different than having compassion for others. Think about what the experience of compassion feels like.
First, to have compassion for others you must notice that they are suffering. If you ignore that homeless person on the street, you can’t feel compassion for how difficult his or her experience is.
Second, compassion involves feeling moved by others’ suffering so that your heart responds to their pain (the word compassion literally means to “suffer with”). When this occurs, you feel warmth, caring, and the desire to help the suffering person in some way. Having compassion also means that you offer understanding and kindness to others when they fail or make mistakes, rather than judging them harshly.
Finally, when you feel compassion for another (rather than mere pity), it means that you realize that suffering, failure, and imperfection is part of the shared human experience. “There but for fortune go I.”
Self-compassion involves acting the same way towards yourself when you are having a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself. Instead of just ignoring your pain with a “stiff upper lip” mentality, you stop to tell yourself “this is really difficult right now,” how can I comfort and care for myself in this moment?
Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect?
You may try to change in ways that allow you to be more healthy and happy, but this is done because you care about yourself, not because you are worthless or unacceptable as you are. Perhaps most importantly, having compassion for yourself means that you honor and accept your humanness. Things will not always go the way you want them to. You will encounter frustrations, losses will occur, you will make mistakes, bump up against your limitations, fall short of your ideals. This is the human condition, a reality shared by all of us. The more you open your heart to this reality instead of constantly fighting against it, the more you will be able to feel compassion for yourself and all your fellow humans in the experience of life.
Let me highlight a small section from this:
“ ….having compassion for yourself means that you honor and accept your humanness. Things will not always go the way you want them to. You will encounter frustrations, losses will occur, you will make mistakes, bump up against your limitations, fall short of your ideals. This is the human condition, a reality shared by all of us.”
This is the human condition; whatever one’s gender, status in life or age!
Moving on.
There is no question that I learnt something from my cycling accident last November 22nd and my subsequent emergency admission to hospital for sub-dural bleeding on December 24th. Something that I would not otherwise have understood so clearly and so starkly.
The remarkable power of the brain to heal itself; albeit very slowly compared with some minor physical injuries.
The BBC science series Horizon broadcast earlier this year the story of ‘Richard’. The full title was My Amazing Brain: Richard’s War.
Horizon follows the story of Richard Gray and his remarkable recovery from a life-changing, catastrophic stroke. Recorded by his documentary film-maker wife Fiona over four years, this film provides a rare account of the hard work that goes into post-stroke rehabilitation.
Initially bed bound and unable to do anything, including speak, the initial outlook was bleak, yet occasionally small glimmers of hope emerged. Armed always with her camera, Fiona captures the moment Richard moves his fingers for the first time, and then over months she documents his struggle to relearn how to walk again.
The story also features poignant footage delivered in a series of flashbacks, in which we see and hear Richard at his professional best. He was a peacekeeper with the United Nations, immersed in the brutal war in Sarajevo, Bosnia. We also hear from the surgeons and clinicians who were integral to Richard’s remarkable recovery, from describing life-saving, high-risk reconstructive surgery to intensive rehabilitation programmes that push the former soldier to his limits.
As the film starts, Fiona asks ‘will Richard, my Richard still be there?’ By the end the answer is clear.
Unfortunately unless you are in the UK it is not possible to watch the programme.
But Fiona, Richard’s wife, has produced a YouTube video. It so much deserves to be watched:
Moving on, yet again.
I am of no doubt that most, if not all, of us at some point in our lives wonder what on earth is the point in what we are doing or where we are at the stage in our own life’s journey. Certainly has applied to me in the past.
Frequently when we are a bit lost as to where on earth we are heading it helps enormously to hang on the shirt-tails of others.
“It’s actually really important that you succeed at what you’re succeeding at, but that isn’t going to be the measure of your life.”
For a slightly different perspective, watch Adam Leipzig.
Being human means a journey from birth through maturity and thence to death. It is likely that the last phase generates the greatest fear for us. But let’s not dwell on that for now!
Because I want to close my introspective journey by returning to self-compassion.
Or rather for our compassion for this beautiful planet that is the one and only home we have.
Dear Carl Sagan sums it up as perfectly as one could ever ask for.
Alright folks! I’m through!
Must go and hug a dog! (Or, more accurately, a dog memory!)
TIMOTHY BULLARD/Daily CourierPaul Handover with Pharaoh, a 12 year-old German Shepard that he uses on the cover of his new book about man’s best friend.
Tomorrow a clutch of dog recall advisories that have come in recently!
As they say a change is as good as a rest!
Once again I must say that I hold no qualifications whatsoever in the fields of psychiatry, psychology or any related disciplines. If you have found yourself to be affected to the point where you think you need proper counselling then, please, do seek help.