Sometimes we need to remind ourselves what is really important.
We went to a funeral last Monday. It was special in that a friend of ours had died and her husband had phoned to tell us.
They had emigrated to Spain 12 years before to become self sufficient in growing their own food, putting on workshops and working with ‘holistic management’ techniques. I have the feeling that it was quite tough as the climate was becoming more and more arid in the mountain area that had moved to.
She had decided to come home to Totnes (Devon, SW England) to die and had obviously planned the whole thing.
The service was lovely and relatives and friends had written poems and the vicar had been briefed on her life which was quite amazing. Born in Africa, boarding school in the UK, rose to be high up in a large company and then had decided with her husband to follow a completely different holistic route to self fulfilment.
The vicar had asked her how she wanted to prepare for her death and he she had answered that she wanted to saviour every moment whilst she was still alive and had asked him to recount this tale at the service.
A man who was being chased by a tiger and had fled up a tree to escape. He looked down to see the tiger pacing up and down, looking longingly up at him. After many hours, the man must have fallen to sleep and awoke as he found himself falling towards the tiger, waiting eagerly below. As he dropped, he noticed a beautiful fruit and grabbed at it focussing intently on every fine detail of it.
After the church service we retired to a nearby woodland where we all took it in turns to carry her wicker coffin up a hill, into the woods and after music and a blessing, we buried her.
It was a truly beautiful day and one that had echoes back through the millennium. It touched me deeply, not because of sadness but about putting things into perspective – what’s important and what isn’t.
By Jon Lavin
Learning from Dogs 
Jon, you are so right. We freak out because of unimportant things on a daily basis. It’s good to keep perspective. We should decide how we want to behave and feel on every situation instead of just letting our mood take over.
Daniela Caride
http://www.TheDailyTail.com
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Daniela, I’m sure Jon will want to reply to your comment but you raise an interesting and, possibly, very important self-management issue; something I read about only recently. That is rather than the accepted relationship which says that our feelings ‘promote’ our behaviours, is in, indeed, the other way around. We choose our behaviours and from those flow feelings. I shall encourage Jon to write more about that. Paul
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Hi Daniela!
Apologies for taking so long to get back to you.
Behaviours and feelings are complex and intertwined. I’ve noticed that they are also self-generated and inherited. I see that in many of the people I work with and my sons as well.
My training has shown me that the more we are able to be present in the moment, rather than off somewhere in Lala Land, a place I inhabit frequently, the better able we are to notice feelings as they arise and choose whether to go with them or make an even better choice. It boils down to how embodied we are and that I’m discovering is fear-based and revolves around how safe I feel. All good entertaining stuff!
Jon Lavin
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