Dogs are animals of integrity. We have much to learn from them.
Tag: Humour
A gift from a friend of the Blog
Some of you may have noticed that at the head of the right-hand column on the Blog we have a new image. This arrived the other day and is from the ‘drawing board’ of Neil Kelly who is one of nature’s more creative fellows. Anyway, here’s the image in a slightly larger format. Thanks Neil!
By Paul Handover
Time for bed
Unlike the funny pic posted yesterday which clearly has been ‘edited’ this one looks to be genuine.
Thanks to Dan G for forwarding it. Classic!
By Paul Handover
Dogs? Yes, we can certainly learn a lot from them.
We could start by learning to clean up our own mess better …..
By Chris Snuggs
[Wish our lot would learn this skill? 😉 Ed.]
Transcripts from our bug in the Ministry of Misinformation, Whitehall, London
Sir: Morning, Perkins. You look a bit perturbed this morning …
Perkins: Good morning, Sir …. well, it’s the economic news …
Oh come on Perkins … swings and roundabouts, economic cycles, what goes around comes around and all that.
Yes, but it seems we’re in the longest recession since records began.
Records, Perkins? Well, of course they’re there to be broken, and if anyone can do it, the Labour Government certainly can! Come on, cheer up – it’s just a spot of fiscal turbulence … in six months we’ll be wondering what all the fuss was about ….
Six months?
Well, nine months then … the PM has promised an end to the recession in 2010.
Some are saying that government promises about the economy aren’t worth the paper they’re written on …
Well, he only said it, Perkins. I don’t think he actually wrote it down as evidence, so to speak.
But he also said: “Britain is better placed than other European countries to weather the recession”, and now look at France and Germany! My old schoolmate Snuggs down in Southern Germany says there is no sign of a recession – boarded-up and charity shops are as rare as unicorns, BMWs, Mercedes and Audis whiz back and fro’ to Munich – not an old banger is to be seen, immaculate countryside …. the only black spot is farmers whingeing about the low price of milk, but then they’re always whingeing about something.
Perkins, I’ve told you before, that’s Germany … you can’t apply the same standards of comparison to Britain …. as for posh cars, well, they make them don’t they? They probably have a surplus and so are flogging them off cheap.
But what about the sinking pound, Sir? It’s now just hovering around parity with the euro – a year ago it was well above it. It’s very worrying …
Perkins …. I believe you’ve never studied economics, have you? that’s just the way it is. The German currency always goes up relative to the pound. I remember when I was at school it was 11DM to the pound.
But it’s not the German currency, Sir, it’s the euro.
Don’t be silly, Perkins. The euro is 90% the Deutschmark in reality. But I wouldn’t worry about the falling pound: it’s great for our exports. Besides, it hasn’t fallen relative to people in Britain. The pound in your pocket has maintained its value. Old Harold Wilson had a good understanding of relativity …. our whole approach is based on the principles of Einstein himself.
But won’t commodities rise, Sir? After all, we depend on imports for practically everything.
Aha! But that’s good for restraining consumption … we must consume less, Perkins, if we are to save the planet.
But the PM is banking on increased growth to save the economy, so how can we have increased growth and lower consumption, Sir? I don’t understand!
As I said before, Perkins, you’re not an economist – or a politician, come to that …..
But they’re saying that we are borrowing billions just to cover current expenditure rather than spending it on long-term infrastructure projects.
Ah … now you’re getting a bit technical, Perkins … you really must avoid jargon … after all, this is the Ministry of Misinformation ….
Jargon? What about “quantitative easing”? Isn’t that just jargon for “borrowing even more humungous amounts of money we haven’t got?”
Perkins – you’re getting confused; obviously we haven’t got it if we have to borrow it …. besides, “quantitative easing” is nothing like borrowing as you describe it.
Why not, Sir? I don’t understand.
It’s completely and utterly different, Perkins. It has a different name for a start.
Well, I can’t help being worried, Sir.
Enough of this nonsense, Perkins. The economy is booming … have you been to Harrods lately? Absolutely packed ….
Yes Sir, with Arabs and Russian oligarchs ….
Well, look on the bright side, Perkins, at least they’re spending their money over here rather than in their own countries ….. besides, where would the Premiership be without their money? …. come on, Perkins – let’s have a cup of tea and forget about all this economic nonsense … we have some misinformation to sort out …
A tongue-in-cheek reflection on the absurdities of British Goverment.
In 1980 the BBC first broadcast a satirical situation comedy called Yes Minister. It was hugely popular. It attempted to illustrate through (slight!) exaggeration the arcane world of ministerial life and how the British Civil Service Mandarins, in the end, were the ones truly in charge of Her Majesty’s Government. Here’s a taste of the programme:
Almost difficult to believe that that was broadcast nearly 30 years ago – could have been yesterday! Here’s another clip:
Nothing much has changed since then … indeed, real as opposed to illusory change is something that the Civil Service strives constantly to avoid. For the information and instruction of a new generation of voters, our devious and doughty correspondent has managed to engage the services of a modern “Deep Throat” who has furnished us with transcripts of current conversations from one of the Ministries. To protect the identity of the individuals involved, we have renamed the former the Ministry of Misinformation, since – obviously – this could be any one of the multiple current ministries.
We intend to reveal further on-going communications in the fullness of time, hoping as always that the identity of “Deep Throat II” will not be revealed though the launch of a leak enquiry. We are fairly optimistic about this since leak enquiries have never provided any results in the past.
The first ‘communication’ is tomorrow at 16:00 GMT.
By Chris Snuggs
Sent to me by Neil Kelly, a long-standing friend in Devon, England.
Wish I could add something witty to this, but I can’t! But it does remind me of the saying, there’s no such thing as error-free software!
P.S. the image is too small to read the copyright notice – anyone help out? It would be good to credit it properly.
By Paul Handover
A New Zealander, or Kiwi, demonstrates that a sense of ingenuity and humour survives ‘down under’.
It would be unfair for copyright reasons to reproduce this delightful story on this Blog, but here’s a picture to whet your appetite, so to speak.
Go to the website and enjoy. Laughter guaranteed.
By Bob Derham
A reminder about how dogs, just like their human masters, love an ordered life.
We live in a rural country village with some 500 people scattered around, and have the New Forest on our door step, so our two dogs, Millie and Summer, get lots of walks. They are nearly six now, and arrived here as puppies.
Like most dog owners, we are known because of the dogs. The dogs sit near the five-bar gate during the day waiting to see if anybody will pass by and talk to them. The normal routine when I am home is to go out shortly after 6am for a morning walk, then they get another walk later during the day.
Most of us have been here but the ‘message’ is worth a ponder.
Last year as a friend and I were about to leave the heat of the United Arab Emirates, he announced that he was going to buy an above ground swimming pool to take back to England. I don’t know where he bought his, but I bought a similar
one which for some reason cost nearly twice as much.
What with one thing and another I never got round to erecting the pool, partly because the children seemed quite happy with the small plastic baby pool that they could jump in and out of.
This year I vowed to get the have the swimming pool up and running.
First impressions, reliable or not?
This joke that I received recently might amuse you:
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
That happens! In some cases, you might have preferred to retain the first impression and wish that they had never spoken!
But sometimes, this “don’t judge a book by its cover” effect can work in the opposite direction; as a result, I nearly missed out on enjoying a passionate presentation.
Read more about passion!
Learning from Dogs 