An old one but still made me laugh – yes, I know, there’s no accounting for taste!

And a big thank-you to Cynthia S for passing this on.

MARY’S  CRUISE SHIP DIARY

DEAR DIARY –  DAY 1

All packed for the cruise ship — all my nicest dresses,  swimsuits, short sets.  Really, really  exciting.

Our local Red Hat chapter – The Late Bloomers decided on this “all-girls” trip.  It will be my first one, – and I can’t wait!

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DEAR  DIARY – DAY 2

Entire day at sea, beautiful.  Saw whales and dolphins.  Met the Captain today — seems like a very nice man.

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DEAR  DIARY – DAY 3

At the pool today.  Did some shuffleboard, hit golf  balls off the deck. Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner.  Felt honored and had a wonderful time.  He is very attractive and attentive.
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DEAR  DIARY – DAY 4

Won  $800.00 in the ship’s casino.  Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a scrumptious meal complete with caviar and champagne.  He asked me to stay the night, but I declined.  Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.

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DEAR  DIARY – DAY 5

Pool again today. Got sunburned, and I went inside to drink at piano-bar, stayed there for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks.

Really is quite charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night.  Again I declined.  He told me, if I did not let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship…  I was shocked.

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DEAR  DIARY – DAY 6

Today I saved the lives of all 2,600 passengers and crew!

 

 

Twice.

The selflessness of Mary has me in deep awe!

• Humour
• Jokes