Category: Humour

Surfin’ USA, bulldog style

Have a great week-end, wherever you are!

Surf Dog Tillman sets an example!

(Ron Davis is the owner of this 6 year old English Bulldog Tillman living in Oxnard California.)

Meaning of words!

Especially appealing to all Scrabble players!

Big thanks to friend Bob D. for forwarding this. (Note: hope this formatting works for you, had some issues managing the format at this end.)

PRESBYTERIAN:

When you rearrange the letters:

BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:

When you rearrange the letters:

MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:

A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters::
THEY SEE:

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS :
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES – LET’S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS ! NO MORE
Z’S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I’M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

Yet another Saturday smile

When I was living back in South-West England, in the Totnes area, I had plenty of time to get to know Neil K. Neil has the most wonderful sense of humour and an ability to look at the world rather differently than the rest of us. I offer this tribute in acknowledgement of the great items that Neil passes to me for inclusion in Learning from Dogs. This one is no exception.

——————–

The Story of Adam & Eve’s Pets

Adam and Eve said, ‘Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.’

And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me.

Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.’

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.

And it was a good animal and God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, ‘Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.’

And God said, ‘I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.’

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, ‘Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.’

And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.’

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.

And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat’s eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was happy.

And Cat . . .

didn’t give a shit one way or the other.

After George comes Brutus

Big thanks to Cynthia S. for forwarding this to me.

Before writing about Brutus, did you read yesterday’s item about George, the rescue dog, and the wonderful effort to raise funds for more life-saving efforts? If not, read it here. Whatever you can spare, please donate to this super cause.

Now to Cynthia’s item, that has been fairly widely spread across the internet.

How to hug a baby

Thought you might like to know about this dog and his history, I especially like the ending, Cynthia.

The dog above is Brutus, a military dog at McChord.. . He’s huge, part Boxer and part British Bull Mastiff, and tops the scales at 200 lbs. His handler took the picture and explains, “Brutus is running toward me because he knows I have some Milk Bone treats, so he’s slobbering away! I had to duck around a tree just before he got to me in case he couldn’t stop, but he did.”

Brutus was the recipient of the Congressional Medal of Honor last year from his tour in Iraq. His handler and four other soldiers were taken hostage by insurgents. Brutus and his handler communicate by sign language and he gave Brutus the signal that meant ‘go away but come back and find me’. The Iraqis paid no attention to Brutus. He came back later and quietly tore the throat out of one guard at one door and another guard at another door. He then jumped against one of the doors repeatedly (the guys were being held in an
old warehouse) until it opened. He went in and untied his handler and they all escaped. Brutus is the first dog to receive this honor, the Congressional Medal of Honor. If he knows you’re ok, he’s a big old lug and wants to sit in your lap. Enjoys the company of cats..

Instructions for properly hugging a baby with Brutus

(A quick Google search found that the words accompanying the same pictures on Daniela’s website, The Daily Tail, were perfect, thus they have been used.)

Step One – Place the baby on a flat, uncluttered surface. Important: Do not attempt this without the assistance of a qualified parent.

Step Two – Conduct a sniff test to verify the specimen is actually a baby. The scent of baby powder is usually sufficient evidence.

Step Three – Carefully adjust the baby’s position until its head faces the mother’s camera. Note: Babies have two ends. The end covered with a hat or hair is the head. The end covered with a diaper is the butt. Babies do not have tails.

Step Four – Lay your body down over baby. Do not apply pressure. While gently placing your paws around the baby’s body, lick your lips to condition them for the kiss (essential part of the hug).

Step Five – Lean in toward the baby and let your heart melt. Repeat as necessary until the parent finds the camera and takes a perfect picture.

Thanks Cynthia for this lovely story.

The soul of a dog, and a soda syphon!

Big, big thanks to Dan G. for sending this to me.

Love dogs? Love German Shepherd dogs? Then sit back and love this.

From the BBC programme, That’s Life, filmed in 1986.

Update from Mr. Kelly

Just found this in my email inbox a few moments ago (it’s 8am here in Payson, Arizona). Not only another lovely example of Neil’s creative mind, there might be a number of readers who can vote for this project. Voting details here.

Amusing characters!

Chance to spotlight the very creative work of Neil Kelly

I have had the pleasure of knowing Neil for a good number of years. I can’t recollect how and when we met but, these days, that applies to so much that slips away from the memory cells! Neil has been a great friend of my sister, Corinne, and brother-in-law, John, who like Neil, have lived in South Devon for many years. Pretty sure that it was through John and Corinne that I first met Neil.

Anyway, Neil’s wonderful, slightly askew sense of humour comes out in his art. Rest is obvious. Enjoy!