“Would you please give your honest opinion about financially-sensible solutions to the food shortages in your country and the rest of the world?”

The headline above was the only question asked in a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN last month.

The survey was a huge failure because of the following:

• In Eastern Europe they didn’t know what “honest” meant.
• In Western Europe they didn’t know what “shortage” meant.
• In Africa they didn’t know what “food” meant.
• In China they didn’t know what “opinion” meant.
• In the Middle East they didn’t know what “solution” meant.
• In South America they didn’t know what “please” meant.
• In the USA they didn’t know what “the rest of the world” meant.
• In Britain they hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.
• In Brussels (and in most other European capitals, come to that) they had no idea what “financially-sensible” was.
• North Korea reported merely that by definition there could be no food shortage in their Communist paradise and that supplies of caviar, truffles and champagne were plentiful. They added that in any case “the rest of the world” could shove their food ….. (They called back later to ask that food aid conveys should nevertheless be continued ….)
• The Cubans refused to answer, alleging it was “a capitalist plot”, and anyway under Castroan Communism there never had been, wasn’t and never could be any shortage of food – everything else, perhaps, but not food, as the people could always eat fish or grubs ……
• The Scots replied that as long as they could get their Mars-bars dipped in batter there’d never be a food shortage.

PS For a serious comment on the world food situation check this out …. two pieces in the UK Guardian Newspaper here and here.

Sometimes I am deeply ashamed to be part of the so-called “developed” world. Is it beyond the wit of governments to put a stop to this?

By Chris Snuggs