Instinctively most people would regard us humans as far more complex than our animal companions. As the old Devon (South-West England) expression goes, “There’s now’t so queer as folk.”
Yet, once we have really got to know a dog there will be many who will see behind those fabulous eyes a sense of a depth of character, a soul comes to mind, that suggests that the brain of the dog offers a canine psychological complexity most of us don’t allow for.
To support that proposition just look at the eyes of Pharaoh in this photograph going back to June, 2007.
I read an interesting article some time ago by coach Michael Neill on how there are different levels in our relationships with others. I’m not talking about literal closeness, for example a brother is closer than a colleague at work, but more about our ability to truly connect in an authentic way with another person.
Have you noticed that you can feel a deep connection almost immediately with a stranger? Or feel like a member of your family is hiding behind a mask and being superficial? … That’s what I am talking about.
Surface Level – How we pretend to be
On the surface, people present themselves to the world in whatever ways they would like to be seen. They may be clever or cynical, light and cheerful or intellectual and deep. This is our persona or the “mask” of our personality, often revealing our fears, judgments, and insecurities in the very attempt to hide them.
Whether we enjoy or dislike someone’s personality is fairly arbitrary – an accidental coming together of our own innocently acquired preferences and prejudices from a young age.
But like it or not, at some point the mask slips and we see through to…
One Level Deep – The selfish self
Underneath the masks of personality, we’re continually navigating the world through a swirl of thought. Because we feel that thinking is coming at us from the outside world, we tend to see our actions, as one of my clients once put it, as being ‘the only sane response to an insane world’.
This is how we justify our ambition and ruthlessness; our cruelty to ourselves and others. After all, if it wasn’t a dog eat dog world out there, who would ever want to eat a dog?
When we see through someone’s “nice person” or “tough guy” mask, we often see only as far as this level. And it’s difficult for most of us to feel warmly towards someone who is seemingly only out for their own self-aggrandizement or self-preservation.
Until, that is, we see through to…
Two Levels Deep – Doing the best we can as we’re all in this together
There is a quote often attributed to Philo of Alexandria that we should “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” This is not only true in the physical world, where our bodies begin to decay long before our thoughts are ready to let go, but also in our innate psychology.
Every human being I know wants to love and be loved; to be happy more and suffer less; and to feel like in some way their life had meaning and value. How they go about achieving these aims is a product of their level of understanding and experience of the world.
It’s easy to love people “two levels deep”, because we see ourselves reflected in them. We all have a natural compassion for the suffering of others and an abiding conscience which ensures that while we may at times act in ways that are harmful to ourselves and others, we do it in spite of and not because of who we are at core.
Loving people at this level doesn’t mean we have to live with them or let them get away with murder, literally or figuratively. It just means that we don’t get so upset by their humanness or carried away by our own delusions that we can escape the human condition.
While seeing through to people’s innate humanity makes for richer and more wholesome relationships, there is a level beyond even that which takes us past the illusion of separation which allows us to play judge and jury to our fellow humans…
Three Levels Deep – Who we are before the fact of thought
Who are you before thought comes into the equation? Mystics throughout time have described our essential nature as being made of spirit – a name for the invisible life force that makes up the visible world of form.
It’s difficult to even talk about “loving someone” at this level because rather than two or seven or even seven billion separate people, there is simply the presence of Love with a capital “L” – and as we dissolve and surrender into that Love, we fulfill the age-old proverb that “we are that which we seek”.
We are one in shared consciousness and spirit.”
p.s. This makes me think about how that pesky neighbor, or annoying colleague and Donald Trump appear one level deep for many of us.
ooOOoo
Val concluded her post with the proverb “we are that which we seek”. I used a very similar idea as the title to today’s post, “We are what we think of most!“. I am clear in my own mind that those two sayings are opposite sides of the same coin.
All of which reinforces in spades the benefits that flow from open and honest self-awareness.
If only for the wonderful quality of a deep sleep that results from that self-awareness.
I rest my case!
Being somewhat obnoxious, I was preparing a little essay on a new methods to detect hypocrisy using the “we are what we think most of” approach, evoked by Paul above. The general idea is that the prominence of a train of thought to condemn this, that, or the other thing, is often a cover for the exact opposite of the official discourse being held. The obsession is prominent, but the message is dressed as the exact opposite of reality.
(Nobody should be surprised that deception is so appealing: hunting is about surprise: the hunter will hide, or used deceitful tactrics; African Wild Dogs have several elaborated tricks they use to confuse prey. Homo Spaines is the top predator, hence quite friendly to canids, and reciprocally. So deception is a deeply human instinct, most satisfactory, deep inside.)
Thus, if someone obsesses about homosexuality, or, say, even Donald Trump, or cruelty (against little beasties, a Nazi speciality), or rage against capital (as the top Soviets, those hyper-capitalists, used to), it is often because they are trying desperately to cover-up their true nature… In the best case, to others, in the worst case, to themselves.
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I agree about what you describe. That of an obsession, either by an individual or a group. But, as you undoubtedly read, Val’s essay was not about that aspect.
(And I would never label you as obnoxious!)
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Absolutely, I liked very much Val’s essay. I just built up on your title, which I appreciated so much that it is one of my old… obsessions.
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😊
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I am honored to share this space with Pharaoh today Paul 💕
Thank you. x
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That’s very gracious of you to say that. Likewise it was my honour to republish your post.
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Val is a beautiful soul whose gifted writings are filled with wisdom.. Thank you Paul for sharing.. I am well behind with Vals posts too.. 🙂
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Yes, I so love Val’s writings. They are a real counter to so much grim stuff in the world.
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So true Paul
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