Learning from Dogs

The Seven Wonders of the World (with thanks to the unknown author …)

Prayer works! Even for dogs!

A'hhh

One of the better items that wings around the Internet.

By Paul Handover

For anyone lucky enough to be around in the 1970s, the British comedy program Fawlty Towers was a must to watch, and still today has a cult following.

In the last episode Manuel the waiter has a Siberian Hamster called Basil, which just happens to be the name of the hotel owner, who is convinced that the creature is a rat, and all this when the health inspector is due to arrive.

Fawlty Towers - Manuel on the right!

With this idea and memory firmly in my mind I would never have looked at getting a Hamster, but for some reason our middle daughter Stephanie wanted one, and kept up constant daily pressure to get one.

I knew something was happening, because there were phone and internet messages about cages, and finally Poppy arrived.

We now have the cage which because it is made of clear plastic means you can see the little creature all the time, and watch her activities. The children have learnt the meaning of being responsible; fresh water, buying food, and making sure the bowl is topped up have become part of the daily routine. Keeping the cage clean and making a warm comfortable nest are big things in a young persons life !

This is a very up-market cage, even the toilet area is a Harrods tea caddy laid on it’s side.

Poppy has become part of our lives, a lovely little animal, who we take with us in a special box sometimes when we go out. Stephanie picks her up first thing in the morning, and keeps her in the pocket of her dressing gown. We have a special exercise wheel which is set up in the lounge of an evening. The dogs lay and watch this spectacle but don’t touch!

We have had bits of fun, especially when Stephanie put Poppy in her dolls house while she was cleaning the cage, and Poppy got stuck up the chimney. Paul, her brother, has left the lid off the cage a couple of times, and learnt from Stephanie about the need to pay more attention to his role in all this. Poor chap !

The love and care for a little creature is very special, and the having Poppy is proving a great learning tool for the children, and even I have weakened and enjoy her being with us.

Funny what can happen in family life!

By Bob Derham

Approaching that big boundary between learning and earning.

It seems like only yesterday that my first daughter Natalie was born.  Now Natalie is approaching 17, going to college and will soon be learning to drive. She did very well in her GCSE [UK exams taken around the age of 16. Ed] exams, but at the moment has no real idea of what she wants to do.

Perhaps not what you would expect her Dad to say but I think that is great.  Because she can continue with a broad based approach to learning and from this she will eventually channel her interests and knowledge in a particular direction.

For A levels [University entrance exams taken around the age of 18. Ed] she is taking French, Psychology, Law, and Textiles!

Clearly for a young person another language enhances the ability to communicate with the wider world.  Psychology is an interesting and a useful insight into fellow humans.  Law will help to make her aware of what she will be expected to deal with but textiles, that was an initial puzzle to me.

The college were very unhappy about Natalie taking up textiles because she had not done art at school but, to be honest, that was because the school, at the time, had put pressure on her to drop art in favour of another subject that fitted into the weekly program of lessons.

But in just three months Natalie has shown great flair for textiles and I am amazed by the work she has produced. However, when I called her this evening from abroad (I’m currently in the Middle East), she was feeling very unsure because her form master has been putting pressure on her to decide what she wants to do when she leaves college.

If you are lucky enough to know your career path then life is easy but actually I am pleased that my daughter is building her knowledge in an open way. I only ask that she does her best.

Exam results might seem important on the day of announcement, and they may well be of serious consideration when applying for jobs in competition with other applicants, but who is the person?

Social awareness is hugely important, and trying different jobs earning money in the school holidays has given her an insight into various ways that people earn their living.

My suggestion is for her to not even worry about exams.  Just enjoy the information she is learning.  In France last year she was chatting away to locals in French, and laughing, because the level of understanding was already there.

Take the pressure off ! Make learning fun. Take the subjects you want. Enjoy education. There is greater variety with regard to work these days.  Natalie will not end up in an office as she fears. Her general level of education and happy disposition will guide her to something different.

It is difficult to try an explain all this, but success in adult life is not a multitude of qualifications and lots of money, it is a balance of finding something that is of interest, pays a suitable wage, and makes you happy.

When I was at school nobody suggested making stained glass windows, or restoring paintings, or moving to Greece and working with different textiles but many things are possible now.

I only hope that she will trust herself, and then when she finally discovers something she really likes, she will be happy.

By Bob Derham

Family echoes.

Today is my 54th birthday.  I am now the age that my mother was when she died, on January 8th, 1985.  I knew then that she died too young, that she had so much more living to do.

Two weeks before her death, I visited her in the convalescent hospital where she had been for months.  She was going home!  The doctors had given her a clean bill of health.   She ordered a new skirt to celebrate and had it shipped to her home.  We got out maps of London and made plans to take a trip there together, as adults, as friends, the following summer.  I went back to school, happy to have had such a nice visit, happy she would soon be going home.

About ten days later, on January 5th, 1985, I got a call from my brother, telling me that mother had septic shock, that she might not make it, and that I needed to get there, fast.  I bought a one-way ticket and packed a dark suit.   She was still alert when I finally arrived.  The nurses remembered me, and let me stay with her, even when visiting hours were over.  I got to talk to her, and ask her what she wanted me to do for her, what she wanted the doctors to do for her, what measures she wanted taken.  She wanted to live.  She was getting weak, working to breath, waiting for the antibiotics to work. Or not. The doctors recommended a ventilator, to help her conserve her strength.  Before they put it in, she had one last thing to say:  ”I love my children.”   She died that night.

Lillian Harris, Sherry's mother, at age 20 with her first child Brenda

I remember thinking at the time how sad it was that she had never gone to college, never had a career, never fulfilled her dreams.  That she had fallen in love at 18, gotten married, and devoted her entire adult life to her children.    That her last thought was of her children. I was single and doing odd jobs while earning a doctorate.  I had a cat and helped take care of my 90-year-old neighbor, but having children was the furthest thing from my mind.

Fast forward to today, January 12, 2010.   I am now the age my mother was when she died.  I did go to college, I do have a career, and I have chipped away at those dreams.    But those are the side bars of my life.  Like every parent out there, the moment my first child was born, I understood what my mother meant.  I understood how much you could love someone, how you could put their interests ahead of your own,  and how you could not be happy unless they were okay.  And, as the years go by and I get older, I understand what a precious gift my mother gave me when she said those last words.  She taught me that time flies, and you never know what day might be your last.  She taught me to treasure every second with your children because, before you know it, they have grown up and are out the door. Just yesterday, they were toddlers; blink, and they are turning 30.

Time passes so fast.   Make it worth it.

By Sherry Jarrell
[Readers may find that an earlier Post by Sherry fits very beautifully with this moving account published today. Ed.]

that Christmas for young children is a wondrous place.

Here we are on the verge of the first full week of the New Year and soon busy lives will engage with all that 2010 is bringing.  So I wanted to share with you something truly magical that happened early on Christmas morning in the Derham house.

Our little four year old woke us at 4 o’clock Christmas morning crying.

“Father Christmas hasn’t come”, he struggled to tell us through his tears.

Then he saw his stocking.

“Oh He Did Come “

“I have been a good boy after all!”

And with that he settled back to sleep.

Joy ……

By Bob Derham

Never give up is so much more than just a cliché.

Regular readers will know that fellow LfD author, John Lewis, has been posting regularly on the subject of remarkable people.  I have found them inspiring, to the extent that I’m going to depart from my usual safe area of economics and tell a personal story.  It’s a story of family dynamics, the power of sibling bonds and why hope and trust in the future, especially for young people, is so, so important.  I have called my story the Power of Words.

—–oooOOOooo—–

I can hear it like it was yesterday, resonating in my head, crowding out the doubts and negative thoughts, filling my mind with possibilities:  yes, I CAN do it!

Then ....

I was in my junior year of college and had no idea what I was going to do with my life.  It was becoming quite a burden.

Because I had always been good in school, i.e., the “smart one,” everyone had expected so much of me when I went to school.  I really envied my older sister; she had always been the pretty one, the popular one, the one who got invited to the prom by not one, but three young men.

And, it seemed to me at the time, she was so lucky because no one expected her to go out and conquer the world after high school.   She didn’t go to college; she went to secretarial school and studied to become an airline attendant instead.

I envied her in every way possible!  But at least I had something: I was “the smart one,” or so I thought!  Years later, my sister went back to school to study psychology.  She earned a 4.0 [four straight 'A's. Ed] and was invited to continue on to earn her Ph.D.  I’ll be darned if she wasn’t the smart one, too! And she is a wonderful and thoughtful person to boot! But I digress.

Read more of my story

A reminder of the United Nations (UNICEF) Convention and a second view from yours truly.

On November 12th I was the author of a Post called Our next generation featuring the young Jessica Watson from Australia who is on course to try and win the record for the youngest person to sail, solo, unassisted, non-stop around the World.  Here’s a part of what was said:

Jessica Watson

Jessica Watson is a teenager.  She is hoping to break the record for the youngest person to sail solo, non-stop and unassisted around the World.  Whatever modern materials and technology can do to make sailing easier, sailing solo for weeks on end is grindingly tough at any age.  She’s a wonderful example of the next generation!

Jessica left Sydney Harbour on October 18, 2009 sailing her sloop Ella’s Pink Lady. Her course is an estimated 23,000 nautical miles requiring her to be roughly 230 days at sea.

You can see that the tone of the Post was supportive.

However the comments that the Post attracted were critical of the pressures and influences that may have been brought to bear on this child.  For at 16 ‘child’ is what Jessica is.  One of our regular contributors pointed out that under the terms of the UNICEF Convention:

The Convention on the Rights of the Child is the first legally binding international instrument to incorporate the full range of human rights—civil, cultural, economic, political and social rights. In 1989, world leaders decided that children needed a special convention just for them because people under 18 years old often need special care and protection that adults do not.

(My underlining)

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Time for bed

Unlike the funny pic posted yesterday which clearly has been ‘edited’ this one looks to be genuine.

Thanks to Dan G for forwarding it. Classic!

By Paul Handover

A reminder about how dogs, just like their human masters, love an ordered life.

We live in a rural country village with some 500 people scattered around, and have the New Forest on our door step, so our two dogs, Millie and Summer, get lots of walks. They are nearly six now, and arrived here as puppies.

Like most dog owners, we are known because of the dogs.  The dogs sit near the five-bar gate during the day waiting to see if anybody will pass by and talk to them. The normal routine when I am home is to go out shortly after 6am for a morning walk, then they get another walk later during the day.

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